This photo is here just because it reminds me of one of my favorite apartments back when I lived by myself. It, too, was pink. One previous residen, a friend of mine, had painted it all pink. This pink. Bright pink. All of it.
The bathroom was kind of cool -- although it was pink, it also had a bunch of "Mr. Lucky" cats stenciled on the walls.
The tenant who lived there after the pink painter and before me got all obsessive and painted over all the pink, painting around the Mr. Luckys -- so I got to have a nice white and green bathroom, with black kitty cats.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
What is that thing? That white thing? Over in the corner?
Here's a tip: if there' so much stuff in the photo that it's unclear what room is being shown, it might be time to call in help.
...and that it's not a cheerful one. I can't think of any happy reason why people would have photos like this in their listing.
Ahhh... nothing like kicking back in a nice, relaxing tub.... surrounded by photographs of people staring at you.
Monday, May 26, 2008
That could be a pretty stove if it were restored, though. I'm guessing it's an antique 60" O'Keefe & Merritt, although I don't know if they did hinged covers like those ones.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
(The house is no longer available. Sorry.)
From this photo, we learn that the house... um... has a floor. And it meets at least two of the walls, one of which has a window.
Friday, May 23, 2008
According to the listing, this is a "Cosmetic Fixer." I can barely change a light bulb, so maybe I'm wrong, but it seems to me that once you're at the garbage-bag-on-the-nonexistent-wall stage of things you're past cosmetics.
I don't know what this patch is, but it must be something good. Because otherwise it wouldn't be in the listing.
It's useful to have the sink and the fridge close to each other. Maybe not quite this close...
No. Carpet in the kitchen? That's just wrong.
I'm a nosy person, obviously. So I'm curious about this house. Were people living here when it looked like this? Or has it all happened since they moved out?
Is that a mattress in front of the window? And a chair in front of the door? In a cabin with no plumbing or power? Why yes, I believe it is.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
This listing had only two photos, and this is one of them:
I wonder what the photos that didn't make the cut looked like.
"You clean it up."
I exaggerate. It's not really $200,000.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I don't know why. Maybe it's the calm colors. Or maybe it's because the listing tells me not to be scared.
Our house had a pool like this one when we moved in, too:
It cost about $3,000 to get it removed. Which is probably why these people are just keeping their pool, even though it's so full of algae it's almost a wetlands:
Although, come to think of it, it looks like that one's above ground. Hmmm. All I know is that I have absolutely no urge to go down that slide.
Monday, May 19, 2008
I counted five more TVs in this house. (I'm judgmental like that, but it's okay because my children play with nothing but organic twigs and rain puddles.)
This photo says nothing about the house -- all you can see is the table and the crap on it. So why include it?
Sometimes it seems like a really spiteful person picks the photos. A really spiteful person who doesn't care what the listing looks like for a half-million dollar house.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
I appreciate the honesty in the listing: "The Ultimate Fixer. Not for the faint of heart." When a house is a former meth lab, I guess there's not much point in pretending that all it needs is a fresh coat of paint and some granite countertops to perk it right up.
I didn't enlarge this photo -- it's that way on the listing. Are they not interested in making a sale? I do not understand.
"No kitchen, no bath," no view.
"Hey, should we kick the garbage out of the corner before I take the photo? It would only take a second."
"Nah. We're only asking $539,900. Nobody expects clean floors for half a million."
... because this cat will kick my ass if I do.
(And also because it's a perfectly nice house. Ho hum.)
Thursday, May 15, 2008
It's a kitchen-bath-living room! Although actually it isn't, because the listing says the place has one bathroom and I presume this is it:
...so I don't know what that room is for. And I think I'm happier that way.
Yes, you're going to burn yourself every time you put clothes in the dryer...
...but it's okay, because when you jump back in agony you'll be right there at the sink, where you can run cold water on your wound.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
A contractor or DIYer would look at this and think "Excellent! Droopy weird white stuff! Just what I need," right? Because otherwise there'd be no reason to include this photo in the listing.
"Giant squid in bathtub stays."
I would name her Snowy and let her take all the baths she wanted.
This house reminds me of somewhere else... where was it?
What is this? Is it a desirable feature? If not, why include it in the listing?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Is it just me, or is this photo supposed to make one think of starting a grow room? Is that what "huge grassy yard with tons of opportunity" means in Realtor-speak?
What is it? And why?
On the other hand... in the same house, we have this excellent paint job:
I really do like that. I'd quickly go insane if it were my room, but I'd just stick my kids in there. (They're already nuts, so it's okay.)
Let's see. I'll put the microwave here, in the middle of the kitchen:
And I'll stick the fridge here, in front of the window:
And the freezer? Um... here, that'll be fine. We never use the left side of the sink, anyway.
P.S. The fridge comes with the house.