Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
For once, it's not a chair having a time out.
Naughty stove. Naughty, naughty stove.
(By the way: this listing shows the washer and dryer out on the back porch. I know L.A. has glorious weather -- if you like warm, sunny days and cool, clear nights, pffft -- but really? Washer and dryer outside? Is this a common thing down there? Does it never rain?)
The telephone's out of cigarettes, and the balcony is on the make,
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking...
Friday, November 28, 2008
What can this sign on the toilet possibly say? I can't think of anything other than "DOES NOT WORK" or "DO NOT USE" or, at a stretch, "WATER NOT TURNED ON -- TOILET NOT FUNCTIONING." These people have managed to go on for nine or ten paragraphs.
Oh, chair, what have you done? Why did Sockempress find you having a time out in the corner?
Well, one minute for each year. We'll see tonight.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Here's a listing! Katt found it! No time to get out of the car -- gotta get to the in-laws before Cousin Barb eats all the cranberry sauce! See ya!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
How could you not want to live here? Doesn't this photo make you think of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, kittens playing with balls of yarn, and the family coming together for Thanksgiving?
Yeah, me neither.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The hula hoop has come to the funeral parlor to pay its respects. Overcome with grief, it collapses on the floor. (Thanks to Mandy for finding this tragic portrait.)
Monday, November 24, 2008
Nope, nope, nothing happened here, nope, just a normal apartment Gayton found tra la la...
Labels: New York
Maybe it's just because I'm desperately short on sleep but I swear, the first thing I thought when I saw this listing was that the real estate agent must be this guy:
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the lack of sleep. Even by my low standards, this makes no sense.
I'm pretty certain this listing, found by Michelle, shows the disintegration of the universe. Who knew the world's end would start in an Australian suburb?
Sunday, November 23, 2008
These cans take their annual HORSE tournament seriously. Don't challenge them unless you're up for some serious trash talk.
Help, help! There's been a chair massacre!
Oh, the upholstery...
Saturday, November 22, 2008
This listing was found by Ellen. I would say something cutting but, as someone who spent her formative years at a Catholic school, I'm afraid Sister Catherine would come after me.
Labels: Washington DC
Friday, November 21, 2008
What? Why would Hello Nurse send this to me? It's a perfectly fine quilt, not really my style but... oh. Wait. That's not a quilt. That's a... a... It's a house. A house where people live perfectly normal lives, where they eat and sleep and read books and pay bills, all the time surrounded by walls with lizards and horses and dinosaurs and Bible scenes and I don't know what else.
To which I say: good for them.
Who's a lucky little blogger? Me! I got a gift card from JCPenney and Blogher! You can read about it here. (Or not, because it has very little to do with real estate listings, lawn chairs, or giant dogs. But it does have a link to a gift card giveaway.)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Valerie seemed to think this was an odd choice of photo for a real estate listing, especially if it's going to be the only photo. But sitting here in the Puget Sound Convergence Zone, looking out at yet another overcast day, I have to say that photo of a clear blue sky is just about enough to get me to buy the place.
"Just a few feet more," thought the Little Armchair, "and I'll get to the truck. Then I'll drive on out of here... So long, suckers!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
How can you resist? You know you want a dip. Go on! I'll just be over here with the towels. And the hep E vaccination.
Justin found this scene. If these chairs don't start sharing the cement mixer, they're both going to get timeouts.
My children need this house that Annie found. They just need it. Or rather I need it for them, especially if I could seal the tubes off from time to time for some peace and quiet. Just joking. No I'm not.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
San Francisco, you know I love you... but we have to talk.
This listing is setting off my vertigo. Am I not being fair, I wonder? Is a better photo even possible when you're dealing with a home that's half scaffolding, half Zoom set?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
What am I looking at? I have no idea. True, my glasses have fingerprint smudges all over them, but that's not enough to explain this. It seems to be a... green tarp? Or is it a fence? With some kind of building -- probably the one that's for sale -- behind it? And the building appears to be thatched, which seems odd given LA's habit of bursting into flames.
If you need a shop vac and a coffee maker in the bathroom... you're doing something wrong. (If you're actually doing the thing very, very, right, I don't want to know about it.)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
When I first glanced at this listing found by Freelance Writer, I thought it was tile behind the toilet. But.... no:
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Oh my god, this is wonderful. It was found by Gav who, I'm guessing from his Austin Powers comment, thought it was shagtastic. But I love it! Really! It's excellent! Look! It's like a museum, or a Dwell photo spread!
I'm buying it and moving in and keeping it that impeccably clean. I'll use an orange rotary phone, and listen to LPs, and look things up in World Book. I shall cook meals involving cans of condensed soup.
And then I'm going to hang up portraits of Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong-il in every room, just to finish the look.
Labels: New Zealand
I don't see anything upsetting at all in this listing that Jessi found. Nope, nope, it's all fluffy white clouds. Tra la la...
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
This houseboat was found by Sue, who thinks it's a retirement home for circus folk. The tent-like roof; the King Tut mask; the mirrors; where to begin? (Click through for the bathroom with the wall mounted TV, the tanning bed, and the gnomes and Native American Buddha around the tub.) But oddly enough, my eye is caught by the flower arrangement above. Are those two fly swatters sticking out of it?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Christine found this classy B&B. Nothing says "worth almost a million bucks" like porn on the walls!
Plus we have an old friend dropping by. Perhaps the chair had made a reservation for the B&B, and wasn't notified about the changes:
This house, found by Suzanne, is where holograms come to kick back on weekends. They wipe their hologram feet when they first come in so they don't get hologram mud on the hologram carpet, then they relax on the hologram sofa with the hologram throw cushions.
Labels: New York
Monday, November 10, 2008
Adrian found this listing. What's the big deal? Nice yard...
Not only was there a terrible fire, but ohmygod isn't that a walker there to the right? Could they not get that out of the way before taking the photo?
If you were going to have only one photo for a listing, would this be the one you chose? Of course! What else could people be curious about? True I can't tell what this is a photo of, but I've never been to Utah. I'm sure it makes sense to locals.
Found by a real estate professional who wishes to remain anonymous.
Saves me the trouble of abandoning my own car there, I suppose...
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Skitter. Skitter skitter. Skitter skitter skitter skitter. Skitter!