Escape from Hamster Hoosgow

"So long, suckers!" cried the hamster, knowing she could escape prison while the jailers battled the fire she'd set.

(Found by Sara. A different Sara.)

The half bottle of water should take care of it.

That? Oh, that's just... um... a design accent thingy. Don't you like how the splatter brings out the brown tones in the wood? The dark rust-colored tones? The bl... um... I mean, the russetness of it all?

(Found by Alicia.)

Paging Modesty Chair. Modesty Chair, please report to listing.

(Clarification, of sorts, for newer readers: the Chair is not in the original photo. It's a Modesty Chair, in case small children wander past the screen while you're reading this.)

Patti found this "2 Storie Guest House," available July 1. I am confused. On one hand, the listing says -- in a positive tone -- that there's a church 20 yards away. On the other hand, the listing includes an upskirt shot of a cheerleader. Just what kind of church is it down the street? And am I going to regret the visitors I get who are searching for "upskirt" and "cheerleader"? Should I throw in a few more words to head them off? broccoli James Mason blender repair mola mola

Isn't it odd and unique?

I have absolutely no idea what I'm looking at here. It's a... door? That opens? Onto a wall? With an Iron Maiden poster stuck on a mural and a framed picture tucked kind of behind it? That can't be right, but what can?

Fortunately the listing, found by Michelle in Arizona, explains the other photos. It "Boasts a neo-gothic rock wall in the living room. It would be a great starter home for a new home buyer with the Seattle / grunge upbringing." See? There it is!



Or maybe it isn't. Maybe the top photo is the neo-gothic rock wall. And what's a grunge upbringing? Are people actually raising children in grunge, like bringing them up in a church? (I'm raising my children in grunge, but it's just because I spend all my time on the interweb and none of it cleaning the house.)

But anyway. Come on, the real estate agent's coming over. The least you can do is tuck the mummy back in the sarcophagus. People!

We're going to need a bigger box.

Please tell me the giant box labeled "PESTICIDE" (I think) stays...

There oughtn't to be clowns

Do you like clowns? No, you don't. Nobody likes clowns (except my friend Virginia, for some strange reason that probably has to do with her being raised by thespians). So a simple rule of thumb is this: When trying to make a house appealing to potential buyers, do not have the only interior photo be of clowns.

Found by M.

Pretty!

Sure, you'll never get to sleep at night with all the glowing sand surrounding you and the radiation seeping into your bones and there's a good chance you'll turn into a superhero if you live here, but isn't it pretty?

Found by M.