Almost!

Taking a photo that includes an old dog bed? Not such a great idea.
Moving the bed and retaking the photo? Great!
Including the first photo anyway? Oh, honey...

Oh, poop

It's pretty hard to tell which end is which with those fluffy little dogs, but I'm pretty certain that that dog is... um...

Found by Matt, on craigslist.

Hello? Um... anyone there?

A dog? A child? A bundling board? I do not know what Bill has found.

Your choice!

Do you want a pool? We have a pool! Look it's a pool. Or... if you don't want the pool... Look! We have a fishpond! Whichever you want!


Found by Galen.

"Ignore the tagging."

Okay. I'll just "ignore the tagging." I'll just frikkin' buy the house and move my family in and not even repaint, that's how ignory I am.

I can give you tips, lots of tips, real estate tips

My first thought when I saw this back yard, in all its hoosegow glory:


...was this (YT: Say Anything (part 10))

scene (it starts seven minutes in to the clip):


Yes, I recognized the table.

I might need help.

Or maybe this is perfectly normal for anyone who was a teenage girl in the 1980s.

"That's my house! I live there!"

So soothing

What an excellent idea. The owners of this house replaced the windows with wave machines like these:

Ahhhhh.... I feel so calm.

(I do think replacing the bed with a Newton's Cradle was a bad idea, though.)

"Yard needs TLC"

Yes, I'm sure the yard does need TLC, but it's the double-pane windows I'm wondering about. They double-pane windows which are mentioned in the listing. The double-pane windows which, if I'm seeing things correctly, are just sort of hanging in the wall with not much supporting them.

Wait, that's not fair of me. Some of the windows have plenty of support. Support in the form of big sheets of plywood nailed right across them. They're not going anywhere.

One wheel wheelie mek me wheelie one wheel

It's a shopping cart!

It's a bicycle!

No, it's a shopcycle!

Adventures in Real Estate

Ho hum, just taking photos for the listing:


And the other side...




Oh crap, someone's coming, quick, across the street, run!



Oh no, they're going into the house:


Well, maybe we can get a photo of the side:


Or the garage:


Eek! They saw us! Run, run, run!

Pacer!

Oh, good. I was looking for a house that came with... stuff. Like, a bike pump, great. Yeah, and a half-dead plant, perfect. And a... wagon? And a... basket?

Okay, not really. But there's one thing that isn't in the listing itself -- it's in the Google Street View of the house -- that I really do want.

Look!

A Pacer!

A real live Pacer!

As a former Pinto-owner, I say: hellooo, Pacer!



UPDATE: I'm wrong. It's not a Pacer. This house is useless.

Huh?

This is here purely for the "huh?"ness of it. It appears to be a counter with a stovetop and sink -- okay, I've got that -- but then is there another counter coming straight out of the stovetop?

Pink!

Pink!


Pink!


Pink!


Pink!


Pink!

Pink!

Pink!


Pink!


Pink!

Pink!Pink!Pink!Pink!Pink!Pink!Pink!Pink!

Found by Paula. Pink!

You'll save on heating bills

There's just one teensy problem with this house -- it's next door to an active volcano. That isn't going to be a problem, is it? Think of the barbequing possibilities!

Load the torpedo tubes

Prepare to launch sleepyhead in five... four... three...


(Found by Bill.)

Naughty chairs!

Get down from there right now! Do you want a time out like the vacuum cleaners?

(insert sulky "vroom" sound here)

Bad vacuum cleaners! Go stand in the corner. And you, and you. Time outs for all of you!

(LadyCiani found these time-outers.)

Toast's ready!

I'm cheating here. This isn't really a poorly chosen photo, as there's no way to take a decent photo of a kitchen in this condition. But here it is, anyway, because they're my editorial guidelines and I can ignore them if I want to. I'm drunk with power!


Found by Roy.

Kiss and make up

"Please forgive me," says the computer monitor, holding out a beautiful bouquet of flowers. But no, the unidentifiable piece of furniture is still mad.

Must... resist... "Who let the dogs in" joke...

Shauna found the trio, Roy found the pair, and I found the singleton. I like dogs just fine, but "Dogs lived here!" isn't a selling point. Trust me on this one. Two big dogs were living in my house before I moved in, and... well, we made sure we didn't go barefoot in the yard for a surprisingly long time.