Your own biodome! But blue!

This listing is setting off my vertigo. Am I not being fair, I wonder? Is a better photo even possible when you're dealing with a home that's half scaffolding, half Zoom set?

Oh good. I was looking for a... thing.

What am I looking at? I have no idea. True, my glasses have fingerprint smudges all over them, but that's not enough to explain this. It seems to be a... green tarp? Or is it a fence? With some kind of building -- probably the one that's for sale -- behind it? And the building appears to be thatched, which seems odd given LA's habit of bursting into flames.

BDRMS: 3 BATH: 2, ALTARS: 6

There's something out there for everyone! Buddhist (and slightly tipsy)?


Catholic?


You're covered!

(The bottom house was found by Emily, who saw it here.)

Hi!

Don't let us bother you! No, no, don't get up -- we'll see ourselves out.

Hi!

Do you come with the house? I do not know how I feel about that. "Tenative agreements with tenants to move out" sounds... complicated.

The man above is from the additional bit here, along with many shots of a fridge with a lock on it and general squalor and poverty. I have to say, it would take a certain kind of person to see these photos and think "Yes! This is a world I want to be involved with, in a landlord sort of way!" EDIT: And, on further reflection, it also takes a certain kind of person to see the listing and think "I'll put this on my humor blog!" Whoops.

Found by Thaddius.

Swim away, fishy! Swim!

Someone call the Animal Rescue League! I think they're about to eat that fish. The table's pulled up, the chairs are there... oh, I can't stand to watch.

(wanders off to the kitchen to make a tuna sandwich)

"Buyer should obtain inspection prior to making an offer."

No, really, obtain that inspection:

Something for everyone

Bob sent me this listing because the custom paint job had caught his eye, but it's this photo that I found particularly disturbing:


When I hear "Los Angeles" I think "earthquake" (admittedly that's not the first thing, but it's up there right below "Luke Perry's forehead" and above "change in an instant, change in an instant"). I don't know how I could sleep with all this dirt piled up, waiting to attack me when the Tectonic Plate Gods become angered.

Look, you can lose sleep over the economy or the election if you want; I'm going to worry that my sacrifices might not be up to date.

Isn't California voting on something like this next week?

I usually don't care what two (or more) consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom (or website), but this -- this is Wrong.

Found by BikerPuppy, who points out that the listing mentions the "private garage." This is important, because whoever buys this house obviously cares a lot about privacy.

I swear, officer, it's not grass

When Jim e-mailed me this listing, my first thought was "What's the big deal?" (because I'm rude like that, but just silently. In my head. I wouldn't share it. Oh damnit, I just did.) So it's a house with a lawn... oh... wait... that's not a lawn. Put the mower away, dear.

I won't clean up for a penny under $1,000,000

Oh, San Francisco, where a one million dollar house isn't worth half a day's cleaning...

For people who hate to bake

Oven? What oven?

Found by Whitney, who points out that "the listing remarks say that the gas bill is less than $10.00 a month -- BECAUSE YOU CAN'T USE THE OVEN."

Hi!

I'm sure you're a very nice person, random person in listing found by Seth, but... I'd really rather have some alone time right now. It's not you. It's me.

No, just kidding -- it's you!

A tad more affordable

So you can't afford the $10 million for the underground lair bomb shelter in London. How about this retro bomb shelter, instead?

Though if I had to survive a nuclear war crammed into a 10' x 10' room with my family, I might regret not ponying up for the deluxe version...

And I thought I was a bad hostess

"Good size cemented side yards good for entertainment." Whee. I can hear the champagne bottles popping already.

It'll make moving easier!

It comes with a shopping cart? Great! That's just the look I'm going for. Thanks!

Ink? No, "ink."

Fed up with all the vandalism and spray paint -- sorry, "ink" -- the sofa went out to hail a cab.

Found by Matthew. Or maybe "Matthew."

Stove ISO appliances

"Is it me?" wondered the lonely stove. "Why do all the other appliances avoid me? Do I offend?"

And with that thought, it went off to run its self-cleaning cycle.

So that's where I left it

No, wait, there are tons of good reasons for putting a flashlight there. Like... huh.

Giving credit where credit's due

My first thought when I saw the above photo was that it was lousy, and the real estate agent should go out and retake it. But then I scrolled down in the listing to the Google Street View:

So... my hat is off to you, real estate agent photographer. Nice work. (Although I'm not sure including the Norteño graffiti was the best idea ever...)