Note to self...

I like to think these say:

SINK
TOILET
BATHTUB

Yet there are no labels for the

TOILET PAPER
WALL
FLOOR

...which makes me sad.

"THIS IS NOT A REO WRECK OR FIXER UPPER"

Really? 'Cause I could swear this is a fixer upper. But the listing says "THIS HOME IS IN ABOVE AVERAGE CONDITION," and I don't argue with ALL CAPS.

One fish, two fish... no, wait, never mind, just one fish.

Is that a dead goldfish setting the tone? Why, yes. I believe it is.

Immaculate

Someone, buy this house! You know that anyone who would use this many plastic slipcovers is selling a spotless home.

I once saw a living room set in a thrift store, still with the plastic slipcovers. The owner had lived with the plastic covers for years, sweating away each summer, rustling away each winter -- and never, ever took the covers off. They were always being saved for... for what?

Don't be like that person.

Hi... er... don't let us bother you...

We'll find our own way out. Sorry!

Good... doggy?

Please please please tell me the person isn't included.

At least the lid is down.

Eric found this delightful house. There's so much that's wrong here -- the photo itself, the door (wall?) blocking the way, the walls which are... um... melting?

Hop hop hop smash

I would be unable to resist playing Don't Let Your Feet Touch The Burning-Hot Lava if I visited this house. And then I would be kicked out, because -- and I'm good at reading subtle signs like this -- I have a feeling that the owners aren't really "Go ahead and roughhouse, kids!" people.

Thanks, Maura.