Now, where'd I put my other shoe... there it is!

Everybody, cancan! LAAA la-la-la-la LA LA la-la-la-la...

(Found by Cassandra.)

Not included: sand

Yes, I like the apartment Karen found very much, but there's one thing... you see, I have a jar of Vaseline, and I need to be able to keep it on a bathroom cabinet. I just don't know. Will it fit?

It will? Are you sure?

A photo! Thank you! How helpful. Now I know just what a jar of petroleum jelly would look like. That's very important information.

knock knock knock

Somehow I missed this in the Preparedness Plan house. I think it works well with the theme, though. You never know when you'll need to flee the house -- or when you'll need to rush in from the yard.

Preparedness plan

Heather found this under-the-weather listing. Get well soon! And please please please, aim for the bucket...

Peel back corner to allow steam to vent

There are many perfectly good reasons for putting Saran Wrap over the top third of your fireplace before taking its photo for a listing, as Rebecca found. For example:


ah



um



hey, I hear my mom calling, gotta go

"I understand what I'm saying! I understand what I'm saying!"

Becky found this aviary / three-bedroom colonial. One photo of loose parrots, I would understand; this listing has four of them.

I'm sure there are people who own caged birds and who live in houses that don't smell of droppings and wet newspaper. Really. They must exist. And this could well be just such a house.

(I spent far too long trying to find one word for "parrot droppings" with no luck. "Guano" gets used, but I don't think it's right. But my hay fever is in full bloom and it's a wonder I can even remember how to log into this website, never mind coming up with the right term for parrot fewmet.)

Does not meet ADA standards.

"Lower level(above ground)" says this listing, found by Suzanne and Corinne. Above ground. Far, far above ground... plus it includes a living room, a breakfast nook, a bedroom, and a full bathroom!

Cracking up, or about to punch the photographer?

She's going to kick my ass for putting this photo up, isn't she. Don't blame me! Blame Beth! She found it! Here, have a nice glass of wine and relax.

I'll pet it and brush it and call it "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"

Is it included? Because the listing doesn't say, and I feel that's a fairly important point.

(Found by Joey.)

This is Allston, not LA

Aww, Elizabeth found a listing in Allston, my old home. I appreciate the honesty. The real estate agent could've had the kitchen as the main photo, or an exterior, or really pretty much anything, but he went with the graffittied garage. Start planning your keggers now! Tell the rugby team the party's at your place!

P.S. I actually lived in Lower Allston, which is entirely different.

Dual-purpose plumbing

This sensible bit of plumbing was found by Tania. Rather than going through all the bother of installing a waste pipe, you can just use the drain for your bath, shower, and toilet! So practical! And a time-saver, too: you can perform all your morning ablutions simultaneously.

Lullabye... and goodnight...

Awww. twilightteaparty found such a touching scene. The deerhead is singing the tiger to sleep. Good night, tiger!

Chestnuts roasting on an open... floor?

Becky found this lovely... fireplace? Yes, it must be a fireplace, because that's clearly a fireplace screen. Tra la la, it's a fireplace, no need to look any closer.

Convenient storage

Just like Japanese room sizes are given in tatami mats, in Massachusetts room sizes are given in recycling bags. This photo (found by Melissa) shows a twenty-bag room, the standard size for a small living room or large bedroom.

Hold the door!

I'll be right there -- I can't wait to move in!

Found by Anne.

(choir of angels)

Jim found this listing. He thinks it's an alien abduction about to happen, but I think it's God. In the kitchen. Just saying "hi." And maybe getting a drink of water. Really, if God shows up in the kitchen, is it fair to make Him drink from the faucet? Go on, give Him a glass.

Living in Midget Village

"Serious offers from seriously tiny people only," writes Chzzy.

Take me to your weeder

Look out! The house is being attacked by small green aliens! Everybody run for your lives!


(Found by Amanda)

Babyfoot!

Josh sent me this listing, because of the condition of the house. Yeah, sure, there's a photo that shows nothing but a crammed closet. And yes, the bathroom is astoundingly cluttered and it would've only taken three seconds to clear the counter and take a good photo.

But I forgive them everything, because they have had the excellent idea to put a foosball table in the kitchen. I shall copy them. I'll have to toss my table away to make room, but I don't care. Foosball! In the kitchen! Brilliant!

Ohhhhhhh...

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

THIS HOUSE FOR SALE
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he
THIS HOUSE FOR SALE