What room is this?

Here's a tip: if there' so much stuff in the photo that it's unclear what room is being shown, it might be time to call in help.

I bet there's a story behind this...

...and that it's not a cheerful one. I can't think of any happy reason why people would have photos like this in their listing.

A little privacy, guys?

Ahhh... nothing like kicking back in a nice, relaxing tub.... surrounded by photographs of people staring at you.

Oh my. Why can't all listings be like this?

(The house is no longer available. Sorry.)

Ah! It has a corner.

From this photo, we learn that the house... um... has a floor. And it meets at least two of the walls, one of which has a window.

It's just a scratch.

According to the listing, this is a "Cosmetic Fixer." I can barely change a light bulb, so maybe I'm wrong, but it seems to me that once you're at the garbage-bag-on-the-nonexistent-wall stage of things you're past cosmetics.

Is this... good?

I don't know what this patch is, but it must be something good. Because otherwise it wouldn't be in the listing.

More work-triangle efficiency

It's useful to have the sink and the fridge close to each other. Maybe not quite this close...

Wall to wall to wall to wall to wall carpeting!

No. Carpet in the kitchen? That's just wrong.

I want to know more.

I'm a nosy person, obviously. So I'm curious about this house. Were people living here when it looked like this? Or has it all happened since they moved out?

Ready for that BATF stand-off

Is that a mattress in front of the window? And a chair in front of the door? In a cabin with no plumbing or power? Why yes, I believe it is.

Make every photo count.

This listing had only two photos, and this is one of them:


I wonder what the photos that didn't make the cut looked like.

Screw it. Let's just sell the place.

"You clean it up."
"No, you."
"You!"
"You!"
"You!"
"You!"
"You!"

$200,000 and all this could be yours!

I exaggerate. It's not really $200,000.

It's $199,500.

I find this photo soothing.

I don't know why. Maybe it's the calm colors. Or maybe it's because the listing tells me not to be scared.

Nobody likes pools.

Our house had a pool like this one when we moved in, too:


It cost about $3,000 to get it removed. Which is probably why these people are just keeping their pool, even though it's so full of algae it's almost a wetlands:



Although, come to think of it, it looks like that one's above ground. Hmmm. All I know is that I have absolutely no urge to go down that slide.

Dora Dora Dora Dora Dora

I counted five more TVs in this house. (I'm judgmental like that, but it's okay because my children play with nothing but organic twigs and rain puddles.)

Awww.

Happy Valentine's Day to you, too, listing.

Looks a lot like my desk.

This photo says nothing about the house -- all you can see is the table and the crap on it. So why include it?

Sometimes it seems like a really spiteful person picks the photos. A really spiteful person who doesn't care what the listing looks like for a half-million dollar house.

Cough, cough

The walls in this photo make me think the current residents are heavy, heavy smokers:


But the bathroom? Smoke stains? Maybe I'm happier not knowing.



(This is the same house that's smiling, below.)