Smokers OK

What? It's just a little smoke damage. Don't be so fussy. I'm sure it was just a one-time fire.

(Frustrated with the high cost of Seattle-area real estate, I'm now eyeing property in Oklahoma -- just to make myself feel bad.)

"It's this or the nursing home, mom. Your choice."

I think this is the entrance to the mother-in-law apartment -- which is fine, if your last name is Lockhorn.

(Cue patriotic music)

I can't tell: is the flag in the bucket of dirt because they forgot to remove it before taking the photo, or because they thought it would make the listing more attractive?

"Appliances that stay..."

In an unprofessional lapse, the person writing the listing forgot to mention the barbeque area.

One VERY BIG bedroom.

According to the listing, this is a photo of a 345 square foot, one bedroom house in Seattle. With central air, and a walk-in closet. No garage, though; just a car port.

If your pants are over there... what are you wearing?

Ten seconds. That's how long it takes to pull the sheets up. You're not even trying, are you?

SINK FOR ILLUSTRATIVE PURPOSES ONLY

OK, I've never sold a house, and don't really know what goes into picking good photos. But I'm pretty certain that you shouldn't have a sign up reading "SEWER TRAP CLOSED. DO NOT USE!!" in your listing.