"Do not street appraise."

Whaddya want for half a million, windows? Hah.

PLEASE KNOCK

One of the things that leaves me scratching my head (or frantically clicking to close the browser window) is when people leave the toilet seat up in their listings. These people remembered to put the lid down, for which I thank them. They may have forgotten a few other things -- like walls -- but the lid is down.

Ack-centuate the positive

This listing had only four interior photos, including the one above. That's as good as it gets, I guess... but for only $554,950, you really can't be picky.

Smokers OK

What? It's just a little smoke damage. Don't be so fussy. I'm sure it was just a one-time fire.

(Frustrated with the high cost of Seattle-area real estate, I'm now eyeing property in Oklahoma -- just to make myself feel bad.)

"It's this or the nursing home, mom. Your choice."

I think this is the entrance to the mother-in-law apartment -- which is fine, if your last name is Lockhorn.

(Cue patriotic music)

I can't tell: is the flag in the bucket of dirt because they forgot to remove it before taking the photo, or because they thought it would make the listing more attractive?

"Appliances that stay..."

In an unprofessional lapse, the person writing the listing forgot to mention the barbeque area.