Termites?

I think a meteorite came crashing through the roof here:


...and landed on the counter here:


See for yourself.

Bonuses?

Does the dump truck come with it? No? Dang.



OK, how about the big panel of underlayment? You'll throw that in, right? C'mon...

Do not adjust your monitor.

It's not you -- it's the house. It really is that blurry. And that's why it's been on the market for eight months.

And behind Curtain Number One we have...

"Now let's take a photo of the living room. Take down the curtains, will you?"

"No! Then they'll see the hideous swamp monster who lives in the yard!"

"Fair enough. Curtains it is."

"Must make a appointment!!! Dogs!!"

Comes with flies! And garbage! And yet has been on the market for seven months -- how can it be?

Some of the photos in the listing have people in them, which is so weird that I'm not comfortable reprinting (that can't be the right term) them here. Maybe the people come with the house, I dunno.

Good luck mowing that lawn

Even surveyors come to work drunk sometimes, I guess.

Um...

Is the shower curtain included? (To be fair: they say it "needs a completed overhaul.")