Have a seat! Up there. Go on.

Yes, fine, it's true -- my house is a lot like this one. Not these exact items (other than the exercise ball), but the general spirit. But, unlike this chair-stacker, I'm not trying to get anyone to buy my house.

Finally! I've been looking for a... uh... thing.

I have no idea what this is supposed to show. The rest of the listing is fine, so I guess it's something desirable. Or maybe not, since it's been up for eight months.

I just... no.

I try to remember not to mock things that are just a matter of taste. I don't like the Country Goose look, for example, or decks, or granite countertops -- but eh, it's okay if you do. I'm a Unitarian, after all.

But this is going too far. This is beyond personal preferences.

This is a mirrored ceiling. In the kitchen.

This is wrong, wrong, wrongity-wrong.

Termites?

I think a meteorite came crashing through the roof here:


...and landed on the counter here:


See for yourself.

Bonuses?

Does the dump truck come with it? No? Dang.



OK, how about the big panel of underlayment? You'll throw that in, right? C'mon...

Do not adjust your monitor.

It's not you -- it's the house. It really is that blurry. And that's why it's been on the market for eight months.

And behind Curtain Number One we have...

"Now let's take a photo of the living room. Take down the curtains, will you?"

"No! Then they'll see the hideous swamp monster who lives in the yard!"

"Fair enough. Curtains it is."