Tuesday, May 13, 2008

No, I swear, I own it.

Listings like this one -- where they don't even bother to get out of the car before taking the photo -- confuse me. It's not a dare. List the house or not, but why do such a half-assed job? Are there renters inside, and they don't want to let them know the house is for sale? Good luck with that, sport. Or does the person doing the listing not have the owner's permission? That also seems... odd.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Have a seat! Up there. Go on.


Yes, fine, it's true -- my house is a lot like this one. Not these exact items (other than the exercise ball), but the general spirit. But, unlike this chair-stacker, I'm not trying to get anyone to buy my house.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Finally! I've been looking for a... uh... thing.

I have no idea what this is supposed to show. The rest of the listing is fine, so I guess it's something desirable. Or maybe not, since it's been up for eight months.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

I just... no.

I try to remember not to mock things that are just a matter of taste. I don't like the Country Goose look, for example, or decks, or granite countertops -- but eh, it's okay if you do. I'm a Unitarian, after all.

But this is going too far. This is beyond personal preferences.

This is a mirrored ceiling. In the kitchen.

This is wrong, wrong, wrongity-wrong.

Termites?

I think a meteorite came crashing through the roof here:


...and landed on the counter here:


See for yourself.

Bonuses?


Does the dump truck come with it? No? Dang.



OK, how about the big panel of underlayment? You'll throw that in, right? C'mon...

Do not adjust your monitor.

It's not you -- it's the house. It really is that blurry. And that's why it's been on the market for eight months.