SeaTac House of Mystery

What is this? Is it a desirable feature? If not, why include it in the listing?

Investment opportunity

Is it just me, or is this photo supposed to make one think of starting a grow room? Is that what "huge grassy yard with tons of opportunity" means in Realtor-speak?

I'll pay extra if you don't include it.

What is it? And why?

On the other hand... in the same house, we have this excellent paint job:

I really do like that. I'd quickly go insane if it were my room, but I'd just stick my kids in there. (They're already nuts, so it's okay.)

It's all about Work Triangle Efficiency.

Let's see. I'll put the microwave here, in the middle of the kitchen:



And I'll stick the fridge here, in front of the window:


And the freezer? Um... here, that'll be fine. We never use the left side of the sink, anyway.

P.S. The fridge comes with the house.

At least it doesn't have granite countertops.

This is the kitchen. You can see the sink over there, next to the fire extinguisher.

I guess it's really no different from all the unfinished projects I have around here -- a skirt that needs a zipper, a quilt that I haven't finished piecing together, and a whole (virtual) stack of unwritten books. So I'm lucky: my cast-aside projects are in the $0 - $25 range, not the $200,000 - $250,000 range.

No, I swear, I own it.

Listings like this one -- where they don't even bother to get out of the car before taking the photo -- confuse me. It's not a dare. List the house or not, but why do such a half-assed job? Are there renters inside, and they don't want to let them know the house is for sale? Good luck with that, sport. Or does the person doing the listing not have the owner's permission? That also seems... odd.

Have a seat! Up there. Go on.

Yes, fine, it's true -- my house is a lot like this one. Not these exact items (other than the exercise ball), but the general spirit. But, unlike this chair-stacker, I'm not trying to get anyone to buy my house.

Finally! I've been looking for a... uh... thing.

I have no idea what this is supposed to show. The rest of the listing is fine, so I guess it's something desirable. Or maybe not, since it's been up for eight months.

I just... no.

I try to remember not to mock things that are just a matter of taste. I don't like the Country Goose look, for example, or decks, or granite countertops -- but eh, it's okay if you do. I'm a Unitarian, after all.

But this is going too far. This is beyond personal preferences.

This is a mirrored ceiling. In the kitchen.

This is wrong, wrong, wrongity-wrong.

Termites?

I think a meteorite came crashing through the roof here:


...and landed on the counter here:


See for yourself.

Bonuses?

Does the dump truck come with it? No? Dang.



OK, how about the big panel of underlayment? You'll throw that in, right? C'mon...

Do not adjust your monitor.

It's not you -- it's the house. It really is that blurry. And that's why it's been on the market for eight months.

And behind Curtain Number One we have...

"Now let's take a photo of the living room. Take down the curtains, will you?"

"No! Then they'll see the hideous swamp monster who lives in the yard!"

"Fair enough. Curtains it is."

"Must make a appointment!!! Dogs!!"

Comes with flies! And garbage! And yet has been on the market for seven months -- how can it be?

Some of the photos in the listing have people in them, which is so weird that I'm not comfortable reprinting (that can't be the right term) them here. Maybe the people come with the house, I dunno.

Good luck mowing that lawn

Even surveyors come to work drunk sometimes, I guess.

Um...

Is the shower curtain included? (To be fair: they say it "needs a completed overhaul.")

BEDS: 5 (1 HIDDEN)

The bedroom ceiling has disappeared... where did it go? So tricky!


What is that on the walls? It looks like an extension cord, or possibly a radio antenna. Is it paint? I really have no idea.

"Do not street appraise."

Whaddya want for half a million, windows? Hah.

PLEASE KNOCK

One of the things that leaves me scratching my head (or frantically clicking to close the browser window) is when people leave the toilet seat up in their listings. These people remembered to put the lid down, for which I thank them. They may have forgotten a few other things -- like walls -- but the lid is down.

Ack-centuate the positive

This listing had only four interior photos, including the one above. That's as good as it gets, I guess... but for only $554,950, you really can't be picky.