I cannot mock this house...

... because this cat will kick my ass if I do.



(And also because it's a perfectly nice house. Ho hum.)

Sometimes you need a snack. Or some music.

It's a kitchen-bath-living room! Although actually it isn't, because the listing says the place has one bathroom and I presume this is it:



...so I don't know what that room is for. And I think I'm happier that way.

Say "Yes!" to safety

Yes, you're going to burn yourself every time you put clothes in the dryer...


...but it's okay, because when you jump back in agony you'll be right there at the sink, where you can run cold water on your wound.

Eew. Eew. Eew eew eew.

Eew. Eew. Eeeeeew.

I have a spare $1,500,000. Whatever shall I buy?

Yes, that seems about right.

It's snowing! It's snowing!

A contractor or DIYer would look at this and think "Excellent! Droopy weird white stuff! Just what I need," right? Because otherwise there'd be no reason to include this photo in the listing.

"Good location, good house with some work."

"Giant squid in bathtub stays."

I would name her Snowy and let her take all the baths she wanted.