Eh, good enough

"What do you think -- is there anything else we could do to make the house look like it's worth half a million?"

"Nah. We're done. Take the photo and let's slap it up on the Web."

This time, it's the hat I can't explain.

What does this remind me of? Oh, right... this:

Oh dear.

What is this? Perhaps I am happier not knowing.

Nostalgia

This photo is here just because it reminds me of one of my favorite apartments back when I lived by myself. It, too, was pink. One previous residen, a friend of mine, had painted it all pink. This pink. Bright pink. All of it.

The bathroom was kind of cool -- although it was pink, it also had a bunch of "Mr. Lucky" cats stenciled on the walls.

The tenant who lived there after the pink painter and before me got all obsessive and painted over all the pink, painting around the Mr. Luckys -- so I got to have a nice white and green bathroom, with black kitty cats.

This photo raises more questions than it answers.

What is that thing? That white thing? Over in the corner?

What room is this?

Here's a tip: if there' so much stuff in the photo that it's unclear what room is being shown, it might be time to call in help.

I bet there's a story behind this...

...and that it's not a cheerful one. I can't think of any happy reason why people would have photos like this in their listing.

A little privacy, guys?

Ahhh... nothing like kicking back in a nice, relaxing tub.... surrounded by photographs of people staring at you.

There's a slight chance that the kitchen needs work.

That could be a pretty stove if it were restored, though. I'm guessing it's an antique 60" O'Keefe & Merritt, although I don't know if they did hinged covers like those ones.

Oh my. Why can't all listings be like this?

(The house is no longer available. Sorry.)

Half a million bucks...

...and all this could be yours.

Ah! It has a corner.

From this photo, we learn that the house... um... has a floor. And it meets at least two of the walls, one of which has a window.

It's just a scratch.

According to the listing, this is a "Cosmetic Fixer." I can barely change a light bulb, so maybe I'm wrong, but it seems to me that once you're at the garbage-bag-on-the-nonexistent-wall stage of things you're past cosmetics.

Is this... good?

I don't know what this patch is, but it must be something good. Because otherwise it wouldn't be in the listing.

More work-triangle efficiency

It's useful to have the sink and the fridge close to each other. Maybe not quite this close...

Wall to wall to wall to wall to wall carpeting!

No. Carpet in the kitchen? That's just wrong.

I want to know more.

I'm a nosy person, obviously. So I'm curious about this house. Were people living here when it looked like this? Or has it all happened since they moved out?

Ready for that BATF stand-off

Is that a mattress in front of the window? And a chair in front of the door? In a cabin with no plumbing or power? Why yes, I believe it is.

Make every photo count.

This listing had only two photos, and this is one of them:


I wonder what the photos that didn't make the cut looked like.

Screw it. Let's just sell the place.

"You clean it up."
"No, you."
"You!"
"You!"
"You!"
"You!"
"You!"