Railings are for wimps.

There's a slight chance that that balcony isn't up to code.

I see London, I see France...

Tee hee hee.

And there... at the desk... was the ghost of the kitchen chair!

Spooooky chair dressed up like a ghooooost.... (but we know it's not a vampire chair because we can see its reflection).

The listing includes this line: "In 2001, the owners had a vision for this waterfront beauty w/ inspiration from the artist, Thomas Kinkade." I'm more of a Vladimir Tretchikoff gal, myself, but I try not to let it influence me too much.

The most squalid house of all

Ugh. Who could live like this?

Oh. Right. Me.

That's my house.

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back

Your subliminal tricks will not work on me! This is not the same old place that I laughed about!

You don't really have to clean, you know.

Just shove all the crap over to one side so it doesn't show in the photo. It would take five minutes, tops.

Just wipe your hands on your jeans.

It's another staging gone wrong! In an attempt to get that Pottery Barn look so beloved by stagers, someone has... tied twine around the towels?