It's a golden housing-market

Half a million. HALF A MILLION! Half a million bucks they're asking, and they can't be bothered to flush?

In an average American home, the TV is on more than 8 hours a day.

Drunk tank pink

The theory that pink prison cells will help calm inmates has been disproven, I believe... which leaves absolutely no good reasons for doing this to a room.

The Realtor slipped me a mickey

The last thing I saw before I passed out was the fridge, taunting me like a cruel ice goddess. "Who's in control of the keyboard now, wisenheimer?" I thought I heard it say as I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep...

I'll sell you this house for... one MILLION DOLLARS!

(Look in the top right corner.)

Included: oven, fridge, surly teenager

Just what I'm looking for in a house!

For keeping kosher?

This 414 square foot studio seems to have two kitchens. Maybe the bottom one is a real kitchen, and they wisely moved all the appliances to the other corner to take the photo... and then forgot to move them out of the way for the second photo?