One fish, two fish... no, wait, never mind, just one fish.

Is that a dead goldfish setting the tone? Why, yes. I believe it is.

Nothing good ever happened here.

I know the idea of buying a fixer-upper is that you fix it up, get rid of the previous owner's decorating ideas, and make it your own. But could you ever wipe the memory of this from your mind?

Poke it! Go on!

You know you want to poke it.

*pokes*

*shrieks*

*runs away*

Peek-a-boo!

Another disturbing find by John from Portland. "Why did they want the deck raised?" he asks. "Planning on a 2nd floor someday? Peek in the neighbor's hot tub?"

If I had a spare two million...

You come here for the snark, I know, I know. But look at this! Look at this wallpaper! How excellent is this? I just had to share. (Plus some people will think it's hideous, so we all win!)

Immaculate

Someone, buy this house! You know that anyone who would use this many plastic slipcovers is selling a spotless home.

I once saw a living room set in a thrift store, still with the plastic slipcovers. The owner had lived with the plastic covers for years, sweating away each summer, rustling away each winter -- and never, ever took the covers off. They were always being saved for... for what?

Don't be like that person.

Hi... er... don't let us bother you...

We'll find our own way out. Sorry!