Note to self...

I like to think these say:

SINK
TOILET
BATHTUB

Yet there are no labels for the

TOILET PAPER
WALL
FLOOR

...which makes me sad.

An explanation.

Ah! So that's what you do with two TV sets. You multi-task!

"THIS IS NOT A REO WRECK OR FIXER UPPER"

Really? 'Cause I could swear this is a fixer upper. But the listing says "THIS HOME IS IN ABOVE AVERAGE CONDITION," and I don't argue with ALL CAPS.

Shows what I know.

It's another double TV! I guess it's just... um... something people do.

I'll burn you!

The heater is nervously hugging the wall, hoping the stove won't see it. Who will win the battle of the heat sources? Oh, the suspense!

TV eye

Why two TV sets? Why is the curtain partway open? Why not move the vacuum cleaner out of the way? Did Mary, the Nebraskan realtor, find it because she has to try to sell it? Why? Why? Why?

"City says stay out."

"Interior of home is currently NOT available for viewing. DO NOT ENTER," says the listing. And so we sneak up on it, through the bushes, camera-phone in hand...