(I don't want to swim in) Chelsea

"Pool? Vortex?" asks househunter Amanda. Me, I'm just surprised that you can still get film for Polaroid Square Shooters.

Aaaahhhhhhhh!

Aaaaaahhhhhh!

*pause for breath*

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!

Yeah, nothing awkward about this at all

Found by Kandi, who asks: "Did someone die in this corner?!"

Suicide girls

No! Don't do it! Don't jump! You have so much to live for!

I shop at Ikea, too!

Yeah, we all have the drawers of leftover Allen wrenches and spare parts for the VCR. But do we all think to share them on our real estate listings? We do not. (Thank you, Carlos L!)

Because I'm comfortable here, damn it, that's why

Mary the Nebraska Realtor writes: "Grandpa can't get out of the chair; let's just sell him with the house."

Yip!

These are not what I usually think of when I picture "junkyard dogs." And this is not what I usually think of when I imagine the backyard of my dream home. (Not even if my dream home "IS LOCATED CLOSE TO THE ALAMEDA SWATMEET").