Babyfoot!

Josh sent me this listing, because of the condition of the house. Yeah, sure, there's a photo that shows nothing but a crammed closet. And yes, the bathroom is astoundingly cluttered and it would've only taken three seconds to clear the counter and take a good photo.

But I forgive them everything, because they have had the excellent idea to put a foosball table in the kitchen. I shall copy them. I'll have to toss my table away to make room, but I don't care. Foosball! In the kitchen! Brilliant!

But it's a _cheap_ Hellmouth

Mary the Nebraska Realtor found this house. The listing is one of those "slowly growing dread" ones. It starts out with a cute-as-a-button bungalow, then the interiors become more and more trashed, and finally we end up in the basement where -- if I'm seeing this correctly -- a bulging Hellmouth is about to open and bring forth the end of the world. Tra la la.

(((THIS IS A DEVORCE SITUATION))

Yes. This is exactly the home situation I want to move in to. Thank you. And look, here I am driving my car, about to smash right into the house. Hope that's okay!

I spell F-L-Y

From this photo, we learn that a) the tap water tastes band, and b) they have a fly infestation. So the real estate agent posted this because... I don't know why.

Bzzzzz.... rock it right.

Back where you belong

As soon as I saw this photo, I imagined the picture (embroidery?) on the wall singing "Hello, Dolly," and now I can't get that image out of my mind. The listing, intriguingly, says "IMPORTANT-SEE PRIVATE REMARKS" -- I wonder if it has anything to do with that?

Maybe it's a fire breaking out

Is that a light under the sink, so you can really see the crud? Why is there a cord going into the sink? Do you feel like buying the house after seeing this photo? Yes, I know you do.

It's all there

If you're going to have only one interior photo in your listing, as in this one Roy found, you might as well try to cram as much as possible into it. Quick! The fireplace! The wallhangings! Grab the sofa! Houseplants, where are the houseplants, there they are... the stroller! Is there room for the high chair? More chairs, lots of chairs! What else? The baby, toss the baby in, toss the baby!