Take me to your weeder

Look out! The house is being attacked by small green aliens! Everybody run for your lives!


(Found by Amanda)

Sho I said, ish YOUR house, YOU get out

I'd be on the floor from drinking all that, too.

Sweet dreams

Good night, sleep tight, be prepared to be attacked by hordes of bedbugs, see you in the morning!

Doggy, paddle

Seth found this happy dog. For just $16,900,000 it isn't really worth getting Rex out of the pool, is it? I know my cat required a deposit of 18 mil before he'd stop scratching the sofa.

Helloooo down there

Look, I have small children myself. I know how annoying they can be. But really -- and you might want to check your county's laws about this, but I'm pretty certain it's true nationally -- you're not allowed to keep them at the bottom of a mine shaft.

Found by Teresa.

Pots pots pots pots

These charming pots were found by Roy. "Big pots, little pots, flying pots," he says. "Pots on parade."

Pots!


(I really do sort of like the pots. I do not know why.)

Self-cleaning basement

No need to mop! Let our amazing new basement technology clean itself! Rinses automatically. Over and over and over again.

Thanks to Paula for this basement with a babbling brook. (Is that seaweed on the walls?)

How the Master Control Program stays fresh and clean

This is where they made pitstops while filming this scene:

Babyfoot!

Josh sent me this listing, because of the condition of the house. Yeah, sure, there's a photo that shows nothing but a crammed closet. And yes, the bathroom is astoundingly cluttered and it would've only taken three seconds to clear the counter and take a good photo.

But I forgive them everything, because they have had the excellent idea to put a foosball table in the kitchen. I shall copy them. I'll have to toss my table away to make room, but I don't care. Foosball! In the kitchen! Brilliant!

But it's a _cheap_ Hellmouth

Mary the Nebraska Realtor found this house. The listing is one of those "slowly growing dread" ones. It starts out with a cute-as-a-button bungalow, then the interiors become more and more trashed, and finally we end up in the basement where -- if I'm seeing this correctly -- a bulging Hellmouth is about to open and bring forth the end of the world. Tra la la.

(((THIS IS A DEVORCE SITUATION))

Yes. This is exactly the home situation I want to move in to. Thank you. And look, here I am driving my car, about to smash right into the house. Hope that's okay!

I spell F-L-Y

From this photo, we learn that a) the tap water tastes band, and b) they have a fly infestation. So the real estate agent posted this because... I don't know why.

Bzzzzz.... rock it right.

Back where you belong

As soon as I saw this photo, I imagined the picture (embroidery?) on the wall singing "Hello, Dolly," and now I can't get that image out of my mind. The listing, intriguingly, says "IMPORTANT-SEE PRIVATE REMARKS" -- I wonder if it has anything to do with that?

Maybe it's a fire breaking out

Is that a light under the sink, so you can really see the crud? Why is there a cord going into the sink? Do you feel like buying the house after seeing this photo? Yes, I know you do.

It's all there

If you're going to have only one interior photo in your listing, as in this one Roy found, you might as well try to cram as much as possible into it. Quick! The fireplace! The wallhangings! Grab the sofa! Houseplants, where are the houseplants, there they are... the stroller! Is there room for the high chair? More chairs, lots of chairs! What else? The baby, toss the baby in, toss the baby!

Paste paste paste paste paste

If you were going to use Photoshop's stamper tool to fill in a front yard, wouldn't you do something a little nicer than "dead grass, dead grass, dead grass"? (And what the heck, make the house pretty while you're at it, too.)

Found by Frederick.

My life, as art

I have a great love for this song and video, Tim Minchin's "Canvas Bags":



It's an anthem for me, for what I do every day. It makes me feel like a superhero. Yes! I, too, take my canvas bags, take my canvas bags, take my canvas bags to the supermarket! So I understand the appeal of seeing the quotidian in artwork.

That said -- I really don't understand this painting Heather found. Or, more to the point, I don't understand why it's in the listing:

Locks are for breaking

Well, I don't know... the house seems okay, but I was looking for something that had been broken into lately. What? Really? Great!

I feel so good in my neighborhood

Guy found this classy living room. At least it's a break from the overly-staged sets usually found in real estate listings... a nice, relaxing break....

Flush at your own risk

This bold bit of decorating was found by Jeremy, who suspects that there was a murder in the toilet. We've all had roommates like that.