When I flipped through this listing -- found by Helen -- at first I couldn't tell what had caught her eye. So they have a few shelves of snowglobes... so what? I've owned more than my fair share of Homer Laughlin restaurant dishware in my time; I don't begrudge people collections and hobbies.
But then I saw this.
All I can think of is me, this room, and my poor impulse control. Oh, it would be bad.
It's a pond! A lovely pond! A pond for your children to play in! A pond found by Brad, who points out that there's just one flaw: the pond is filled with store-bought guacamole.
(No, I never will get tired of the "We're going to need a bigger [blank]" line.)
Bad vacuum cleaners! Go stand in the corner. And you, and you. Time outs for all of you!
(LadyCiani found these time-outers.)
I'm cheating here. This isn't really a poorly chosen photo, as there's no way to take a decent photo of a kitchen in this condition. But here it is, anyway, because they're my editorial guidelines and I can ignore them if I want to. I'm drunk with power!
Found by Roy.
"Please forgive me," says the computer monitor, holding out a beautiful bouquet of flowers. But no, the unidentifiable piece of furniture is still mad.
Look, I've been to Australia, and I can vouch for it. It really exists. I'm reasonably certain that is not just a movie set. And yet, based on the listing that Kate found, I find myself wondering...
This is what my bathroom often looks like, because I have small children who think that towels are magnetically attracted to towel racks and if you just drop the towel on the floor it will zoom up all on its own.
But my house isn't for sale. And if it were, I would take TEN FREAKIN' SECONDS and hang the towel back up myself and not include it in the listing for Jennifer to find and send to... um... me? Sorry, I've confused myself.
This intriguing marketing plan was found by Tim. If you look closely in the living room, you might see another topless person... or maybe I need new glasses.
Please tell me the giant box labeled "PESTICIDE" (I think) stays...
Shauna found the trio, Roy found the pair, and I found the singleton. I like dogs just fine, but "Dogs lived here!" isn't a selling point. Trust me on this one. Two big dogs were living in my house before I moved in, and... well, we made sure we didn't go barefoot in the yard for a surprisingly long time.
This practical layout was found by Linnee, who points out that you can "do a load of laundry, take a seat, and... er... read." Me, I think the washing machine got lonely and wandered into the bathroom for a chat.
P.S. This photo was also in the listing, captioned "Under renovation." I think that's a bit cruel.
It's so romantic. The candlesticks are finally getting married. Oh, I'm all choked up... thank you, Meghan, for letting us know of this touching scene.
(MLS 1512516.)
It would've been easy to not include the ripped, upside-down sofa in this photo, so I presume there's a good reason for it being here. Like... ah...
Unless! Maybe this was the best photo possible. Maybe there's something really awful just out of the shot. Like a ripped, upside-down sofabed. Now, that would be nuts.
There are many bad photos in this listing that lizinsac found. But I pick this one, because it's the most pointless. There is absolutely no reason for this photo.
You want potential buyers to know that there's a washer and dryer? The house is too messy to respectably take a photo? THEN JUST SAY IN THE LISTING THAT THERE'S A WASHER AND DRYER. Especially if it's just a normal washer and dryer, not a fancy-pants front-loading, energy efficient, as seen on "Lost" washer and dryer.
mumble mumble mumble some people mumble mumble mumble
I AM YOUR WASHING MACHINE! YOU MUST FEED ME! FEED ME! OR I WILL INVADE YOUR KITCHEN IN SEARCH OF DISHTOWELS TO EAT! RRRRRRR!
