As fast as your skinny plastic legs can take you!

Run, chairs, run! Be free!

I can give you tips, lots of tips, real estate tips

My first thought when I saw this back yard, in all its hoosegow glory:


...was this (YT: Say Anything (part 10))

scene (it starts seven minutes in to the clip):


Yes, I recognized the table.

I might need help.

Or maybe this is perfectly normal for anyone who was a teenage girl in the 1980s.

"That's my house! I live there!"

Those years of the Palmer Method really worked

Reg? Keg? Either way, the vandal had very nice writing.

Green, green grass of home

This beautiful lawn was found by Clint of the Portland Housing Blog, and isn't it delightful? Yes, they'll all come to see me, in the shade of that old oak tree...

"Need more information"

Do I "need more information"? Hell yes, I need more information. Like, what is that smoke? What are those coils? Are the coils on fire? Are they enormous mosquito-coils? If so, is that a bad thing? What's in the tanks? Are they going to explode? Is there anything else I should know?

Found by Brian, who does not have more information.

I blame myself

Clearly the owners of this building (found by Misty) saw this post, thought it was a great idea, and copied it. Sorry about that.

It's okay, because it's in mirror writing (except for where it isn't)

This rebellious listing was found by Brian. Don't look too closely at the writing. Tsk tsk tsk.

Good flowers.

Flowers! Get down from there immediately!



Oh, you just have too much energy. Fine. Fetch my hat, please. Hat! Fetch the hat! Good flowers.



All right! Here we go!


Walkies!

(Found by Giuliana)

(I'm running out of New Zealand references)

Yes. This is from a listing. A listing found by Jayce. You are supposed to look at this photo and think "I want to buy this house! This is where I would like to raise my children!" And why not?

So soothing

What an excellent idea. The owners of this house replaced the windows with wave machines like these:

Ahhhhh.... I feel so calm.

(I do think replacing the bed with a Newton's Cradle was a bad idea, though.)

Don't invite Lentil

"Honey, I'm home! What's for dinner?"

"Lemons."

"Lemon chicken?"

"No. Lemons."

"Greek Lemon Soup?"

"No. Lemons."

"Salmon with lemon garnish?"

"No. Lemons. Just lemons. It's a cry for help. Grab some forks, will you?"

Ahhh, it's brilliant

I'm sure there are good reasons to include a photo of Father Dougal in your listing, as found by Edmund. True, I can't think what the reasons might be... but I'm starting to get the impression they do things a little differently in New Zealand. For example, it appears that they insulate houses with "button cods," which I believe is babytalk for what Americans, in our trademark-infringing way, call Q-Tips. That's what the listing says, anyway. I am so confused. Just like Dougal.

"Yard needs TLC"

Yes, I'm sure the yard does need TLC, but it's the double-pane windows I'm wondering about. They double-pane windows which are mentioned in the listing. The double-pane windows which, if I'm seeing things correctly, are just sort of hanging in the wall with not much supporting them.

Wait, that's not fair of me. Some of the windows have plenty of support. Support in the form of big sheets of plywood nailed right across them. They're not going anywhere.

No no no no no

NO MORE DOLLS PLEASE.


(Found by Sharon.)

Smooooth

"A dinette set in the bedroom?" writes dw. "Isn't that a little... forward? If I were on a date, I'd be thinking I'd want something between dinner and bed."

You be the judge

"No one will notice it's a pot plant," writes Sue. "Just stick it in the office." OK, I'm naive, and most of what I know about pot plants comes from watching jPod. Really? Is this a pot plant? In a listing? I know it's Holland, but still.

Make us then a mighty host

The rest of this house is one of those "Awesome or awful?" quandaries, but this -- this! -- this is too much. Built-in, permanent, cement armchairs? No.

Found by Liz.

Oooh.

There's nothing particularly awful about these. Actually, they're kind of striking, in an early 1990s Calvin Klein ad sort of way. I just wanted to share.

My blue-tarp suburb

This house is not far from mine, and they've represented the area perfectly in this photo:

1. Blue tarp
2. Car up on blocks
3. Blackberry bush
4. Rain

Ah, home.

IMPORTANT

Want to get this look at home? Simple! Just stock up on these:




Found by Maria.