Stove ISO appliances

"Is it me?" wondered the lonely stove. "Why do all the other appliances avoid me? Do I offend?"

And with that thought, it went off to run its self-cleaning cycle.

So that's where I left it

No, wait, there are tons of good reasons for putting a flashlight there. Like... huh.

So close.

PHOTO CHECKLIST:
Front of house? Check.
Kitchen? Check.
Bedroom? Check.
Bathroom? Check.
Back yard? Check.
Orange teddy bear leaning against a fake soda can? Check.

Good to go!

(Found by Emma)

Giving credit where credit's due

My first thought when I saw the above photo was that it was lousy, and the real estate agent should go out and retake it. But then I scrolled down in the listing to the Google Street View:

So... my hat is off to you, real estate agent photographer. Nice work. (Although I'm not sure including the Norteño graffiti was the best idea ever...)

Almost!

Taking a photo that includes an old dog bed? Not such a great idea.
Moving the bed and retaking the photo? Great!
Including the first photo anyway? Oh, honey...

The Mystery Writers of America are out of control

David found this listing. Since the seller didn't bother spending ten bucks on paint to cover these decorations, I presume they're desirable. Family crests, maybe?

So calming.

Another find by Mary the Nebraska Realtor. "Anyone crazy enough to put these colors together on a wall needs to be in a padded room," she writes. "Oh, wait..."

Oh, poop

It's pretty hard to tell which end is which with those fluffy little dogs, but I'm pretty certain that that dog is... um...

Found by Matt, on craigslist.

For people who really like Subway

Laurie found this listing for people who like Subway. Really, really like Subway. Like it so much that if a listing were going to have just one photo, this is the one they should use -- because the only thing that's important is that the apartment is near a Subway.

I suppose it works equally well for people who hate Subway. Really, really hate Subway.

The closet, too, is bigger on the inside than the outside.

The Tardis! It's here! In America! And Val found it! But because it's in Seattle, the Tardis now comes in a classic cedar.

Wheeee!

THUNK. That's the sound the sofas made when they stopped sliding and hit the wall.

Or perhaps the wooden chair is contemplating its mortality

Ahhh... sometimes there's nothing better than dragging a chair out to the back yard, sitting back, and watching a pile of sticks. Good times.

Found by Dawn, who thinks the sticks must be a selling feature.

Building? Dog? I just can't decide which I want.

This listing has two photos. One is tiny and blury. The other is large, up close, and in focus. Can you guess which is of the item which is for sale?

It's not them, it's me

I give up. Clearly candy-themed rooms are fine, just fine, and I need to get over my heebie-jeebies. Thank you, Jessy, for finding this Pez-filled room as proof that such things are completely normal.

save yourself: hit control + W now

Nikki sent me this one a while ago, and it's been sitting in my in box while I tried to come up with something to say about it. But... I can't. I just can't. I think about sitting on that sofa -- the only free spot in the room -- and I just get so nervous that I have to close the browser. In fact, I have to go now.

What more do you need to see?

Interior photo? You want an interior photo? Fine. Here:


Is that interior enough for you, Sport? Hope so, because it's the only one you're getting.

Found by Shelby.

Assuaging my liberal guilt

This listing -- found by KCCAT -- is dedicated to the anonymous person who said I was a racist because I didn't want my daughter to marry a store display of M&Ms. See? I don't really mind M&Ms. Tra la la...

get them away from me get them away from me

Hello? Um... anyone there?

A dog? A child? A bundling board? I do not know what Bill has found.

Your choice!

Do you want a pool? We have a pool! Look it's a pool. Or... if you don't want the pool... Look! We have a fishpond! Whichever you want!


Found by Galen.

"Ignore the tagging."

Okay. I'll just "ignore the tagging." I'll just frikkin' buy the house and move my family in and not even repaint, that's how ignory I am.