One year lease with time off for good behavior

I used to live in New York City. My first child was born there, I have good friends there, and I still have fond feelings for the city. Public transportation! Restaurants! The Natural History museum! The Unisphere! Pan de yuca!

Until I see a listing like this one that Jax found... and suddenly, my bland suburban neighborhood seems just dandy.

Since it's craigslist and the ad will disappear soon, I'm going to copy and paste the excellent description: "Room Available November 1st. Room is approx. 10x8 (no windows). Room has private bathroom. There is no separation between bathroom and bedroom. Room is in basement. Private, no roommates. No kitchen access but you do have a mini fridge and microwave. Utilities are included. Located less than one block from L train, Bedford Ave and B61 bus. Please email some info about yourself along with how long you are looking to sublet for. (Optional semi-furnished)." "North 7th street at Bedford Ave" $550.

I suppose I'm cheating by having the photo here -- it's not like there's a better photo they could've taken.

OooooohhhhhhHHHHHhhhh

Buy my apartment or I shall haunt your current residence... woooooh.....

Found by Carolina... woooooooooh....

(I can't figure out how to spell out a good ghost noise.)

Hey, buddy!

Look! It's an old friend! From the very first post on this blog, it's that guy, you know, the guy with the face. Awww. Howya doing, Sport?

For people who don't like stainless steel appliances

If you lived here you, too, could put magnets on your fridge! Yes! You could! It's not one of those no-magnets-here fridges!

Found by Emma.

Yes, that's exactly where I want to take a nap

"FEATURES INCLUDE DAY BED, BASEMENT AND BUILT IN SAFE!" I think this is the day bed. Doesn't it look comfy?

Found by Kristi, who thinks that this bathroom door is made entirely of mold:


How uncharitable of her! That door is no more than half mold. Unless mildew counts as mold. Does it? If so, we're back up to 100%.

Whee! Hold on, kids!

I've never been to Albuquerque. I had no idea!

Found by Pamela.

A tad more affordable

So you can't afford the $10 million for the underground lair bomb shelter in London. How about this retro bomb shelter, instead?

Though if I had to survive a nuclear war crammed into a 10' x 10' room with my family, I might regret not ponying up for the deluxe version...