I won't clean up for a penny under $1,000,000

Oh, San Francisco, where a one million dollar house isn't worth half a day's cleaning...

Peek-a-boo

I've long wondered why agents would include photos of the residents in their listings. It seems the people behind this listing, which househunter Valerie found, agree. Privacy now!

Don't let my kids see this one

LET THIS SERVE AS A WARNING TO ALL DOLLS WHO THINK ABOUT ENTERING THIS HOUSEHOLD.


Found by Katie.

All this could be yours!

C'mon in! Make yourself comfortable!

(Another disturbing find by Jayce.)

For people who hate to bake

Oven? What oven?

Found by Whitney, who points out that "the listing remarks say that the gas bill is less than $10.00 a month -- BECAUSE YOU CAN'T USE THE OVEN."

Hi!

I'm sure you're a very nice person, random person in listing found by Seth, but... I'd really rather have some alone time right now. It's not you. It's me.

No, just kidding -- it's you!

Once upon a time, all listings looked like this

We know they had a camera, because they took interior photos (hoo boy did they take interior photos) in this listing that Stuart found. And yet this is the exterior shot they think will draw in the buyers in this market. I am... am... well, I'm not a real estate agent, what do I know about selling houses? Bupkis. And that is why I'm not trying to sell a house.

It would be good, I think, of more people paused for a few seconds of self-reflection before starting a business transaction that will run into hundreds of thousands of dollars. "Do I know anything about selling a house? No? Huh, so maybe I should find someone who does."


Still, look! It comes with a hand truck. Maybe we can use it to carry the dustcatchers out of the photo. Grab the handle -- go on -- just use your thumb and index finger to make little pinchy motions...