Hey, buddy. Wanna buy a house?
What do you mean, what kind of house? It's a house, okay? It's just a freaking house. Do you want it or not? What, you want a photo? Oh for... fine. Here's a photo.
There. Happy? It's a house. No, not that one, that one over there, yeah, that one. See, it has a window or something, and a garage, maybe two, I don't know, look, it's just a house! How much information do you need?
Sheesh.
Bob sent me this listing because the custom paint job had caught his eye, but it's this photo that I found particularly disturbing:
When I hear "Los Angeles" I think "earthquake" (admittedly that's not the first thing, but it's up there right below "Luke Perry's forehead" and above "change in an instant, change in an instant"). I don't know how I could sleep with all this dirt piled up, waiting to attack me when the Tectonic Plate Gods become angered.
Look, you can lose sleep over the economy or the election if you want; I'm going to worry that my sacrifices might not be up to date.
Emily & Kitty found this woman who just couldn't get away from us fast enough. Wait! Come back! We're nice... we're just a bunch of snarky people... sigh.
I usually don't care what two (or more) consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom (or website), but this -- this is Wrong.
Found by BikerPuppy, who points out that the listing mentions the "private garage." This is important, because whoever buys this house obviously cares a lot about privacy.
When Jim e-mailed me this listing, my first thought was "What's the big deal?" (because I'm rude like that, but just silently. In my head. I wouldn't share it. Oh damnit, I just did.) So it's a house with a lawn... oh... wait... that's not a lawn. Put the mower away, dear.
Not only does Texas not have an open container law, but it's also legal to sell real estate while under the influence. Yee-haw!
Found by Andra.
P.S. I made that up about the open container laws. I have no idea if it's true.
