Get out the dustpan and you're done

"This luxurious new timber frame home awaits your finishing preferences!" Really, just a few weekends of To Do lists and you're all set.

Found by Lois. Hi Mom!

The housing bubble is doing fine

For those of you -- and it's to your credit -- who found the previous listing to be too much, Ironygirl found a nice bubble to climb into and float away... wait for me! I'm coming too!

Hi!

Do you come with the house? I do not know how I feel about that. "Tenative agreements with tenants to move out" sounds... complicated.

The man above is from the additional bit here, along with many shots of a fridge with a lock on it and general squalor and poverty. I have to say, it would take a certain kind of person to see these photos and think "Yes! This is a world I want to be involved with, in a landlord sort of way!" EDIT: And, on further reflection, it also takes a certain kind of person to see the listing and think "I'll put this on my humor blog!" Whoops.

Found by Thaddius.

For the ladies

"Large Games room - currently used for Pole Dancing Fitness Classes." I believe you; millions wouldn't.


Found by Christine. And then Melissa. Then Kristen... should I be worried that so many people see basement stripper poles and think of me?

Hold the door!

I'll be right there -- I can't wait to move in!

Found by Anne.

Bring your own smudge sticks, salt, holy water...

"If you do sense something that is very disruptive or frightening to you in some way, then it's better to bring in someone who is skilled in the way of exorcism, because this is what will need to be performed. This is also often the case where a house has been built on an ancient burial site, where the spirits are disturbed and displeased."

-WikiHow's "How to Spiritually Cleanse Your Home of Psychic Disturbances"

Found by Marianne. Your nightmares tonight are her fault.

Pardon the interruption...

... but please, if you're an American, vote.

If you've already voted, thank you!