What the...? Where'd it go?

Did you see it? There was a bathtub right there! I swear it was! Elizabeth found it, and I saw it, but now... gone. Ooooh. Spooky. Vanishing bathtub.

What's this blog about, again?

Karen found this good dog in a listing from San Diego. Good dog! Who's a good dog?

I just realized: if I looked at this blog for the first time today, I would have no freaking idea what it's about. Hunting? Pets? Furniture? Sandwiches?

Listings, red in tooth and claw

Oh, my. I'm about as far from a raw vegan as you can get while still having opposable thumbs, but still I do not find dead little glassy eyeballs and bloody guts to be appealing.

Found by Kristin; found by Annie.

A $2,800,000 sandwich?

Julie found this photo of a commercial property. Yes, it is. It is! That's what commercial properties look like! Otherwise it would make no sense to have this photo be the only one on the listing.

Cue: Tubular Bells

StacyAndJason (don't give me that look -- that's what the e-mail says) found this dramatic moment waiting to happen. What's coming out of the closet? Something... nice?

A little privacy, please?

The chair is embarrassed about being caught in the bedroom. Sorry!

STOP THAT RACKET DOWN THERE!

SHHHH! YOU'RE KEEPING TONY UP WITH ALL YOUR DANCING! THIS IS NO TIME FOR A CONGA LINE! KNOCK IT OFF!

Convenient storage

Just like Japanese room sizes are given in tatami mats, in Massachusetts room sizes are given in recycling bags. This photo (found by Melissa) shows a twenty-bag room, the standard size for a small living room or large bedroom.

I think they're performing The Nutcracker

Doo-dee doo-dee doo-dee DOO-DEE (da da da da da da da da DAAAAH da-da-da)

Brie found these old friends, practicing for a recital.

For sale: The Shire

No, not this Shire:


And not this one, which Rebecca found:



But this one, found by David:
I suppose if you're selling a house for a mere $1,250,000, you can't be expected to shell out for a non-fisheye camera lens.

For all the sparkly vampires out there

PROSPECTIVE TENANT: I don't know... the windows seem a bit small.

OWNER: No, no, they're nice and big. Airy! The apartment is positively airy.

PROSPECTIVE TENANT: But the windows! Look at them! They're about six inches tall.

OWNER: Clearly you are mistaken. Look at the curtains! Nobody would put such long curtains on six-inch-tall windows, would they?

PROSPECTIVE TENANT: I see your point. I'll sign the lease now, please.



(Found by Christian and Gareth.)

Two bottles of beer on the wall, two bottles of beer...

OK, this is pretty much what my kitchen looks like right now. Is that a selling point? The listing, found by Katie, does remind me of home, after all...

There's a joke here about home cookin' but I'm too lazy to make it

Is that a logging cross-cut saw in the corner? Why yes, I believe it is.

American standards

"You expect me to live like this?" demanded the toilet. "I'll give you 'looks like someone tried to remodel it, and stopped.' Bah!"

And with that it stormed out the door to go to Norway, where plumbing fixtures are appreciated.

A little something soul-sapping to begin your week

My God. It's Monday.

Don't jump!

No, Chair, don't do it! Bailey found you just in time. Just calm down... we can put you in touch with friends.

Norwegian sink contest!

I'm in the mood for a contest. So here you go: three photos showing sinks. Strange sinks. Norwegian sinks.

(From these listings.)

Q: What is the purpose of the open-fronted sinks?

Leave your answer in a comment. The author of my favorite answer will receive a copy of either Kyoichi Tsuzuki's Tokyo: A Certain Style or James Lileks's Interior Desecrations: Hideous Homes from the Horrible '70s (winner's choice).

Notes:

1. Although I am curious about the real use of these sinks, I suspect that my favorite answer will not necessarily be the most truthful one.
2. If I can't decide which one is best, I'm going to let some random person in my family decide.
3. You've got... oh... let's say... a week. So only comments made before late afternoon (Pacific time) of Saturday, December 13th count.
4. I have to hand-approve all comments on this blog because of idiot SEO spammers, so don't worry if your thoughtful entry doesn't show up right away.
5. If the winner lives somewhere that make it very expensive for me to ship a book to them... um... they might just win the satisfaction of a job well done.
6. This is being done by me, just me, and not any advertisers or companies or rogue states intent on (cue: patriotic music) taking over our beloved democracy through blogs.
7. Make sure you leave some way for me to contact you if you win. If you're posting with your Blogger or Google username, that's enough; otherwise you should leave your e-mail address (feel free to munge it).

Whee!

Update: the contest is closed! And the winner -- picked by a random family member, because I couldn't make up my mind -- is... Garrett Albright! Congratulations, Garrett Albright! Come on down!

Honesty in real estate listings

Is this picture crooked? Maybe not: the house "has a cracked foundation after a earthquake in the kitchen floor title cracks getting bigger look at pictures also cracks in block wall on the left side of house if standing in front of house" and on and on

Is he here yet? Is he here yet?

These chairs that Karen found, on the other hand, are not having eeevil meetings. They're eagerly trying to look out the window and spot the school bus as they wait for their big brother (a La-Z-Boy) to come home and play with them.

Chair Power! Chair Power!

Man, I hate that chairist furniture, never letting other furniture come to its meetings. And who does it benefit? Nobody!

Can't we all just get along?