Thanks, fairy godmother!

Jill found this Utahan Cinderella, waiting for the pumpkin coach to pull up and whisk her to the ball...

Utahan?
Utahesque?
Utite?
Utahstic?

Included: washer, dryer, wrath of God

Louisa found this sign of the apocalypse charming three-bedroom home. "Motivated seller"? Perhaps motivated by the DOOM DOOM DOOOOOOM in the sky overhead?

DOOOOOOOM.

DOOOM.

Doom. But kinda pretty doom, in a doomish sort of way.

Korch? Katio? Keck?

Kim found this listing. She was intrigued by the bathroom which, I will admit, has a certain oh-my-gawdness about it:



But for me, it's the... porch? Kitchen? Korch? Pitchen? I have no idea what this room is:


Maybe it's because I live in a rainforest, but this makes no sense to me.

I've never been to Texas. Is this, like the outdoor washers and dryers in Southern California, totally normal? You guys are all, "Four walls? Hell, no!" and just have your kitchens hanging out in the back yard?

Wahooo!

Thanks to Allison for this exciting listing! Yeah! Let's go buy a house! A house that looks oddly like a motel! But who am I to judge? My house looks oddly like a thrift store! So... go, househunters!

"The best I can do is post some with my family in them."

What? What more do you need? This is what you would look like if you lived here. So. D you want it or not?

(Found by Anna.)

The captain has turned on the "Fasten seat belts" sign

I'm trying to do some technical things on this blog that are far beyond my skills. Apologies if it looks weird and / or breaks in the next few days.

Don't hurt me

A treadmill! A trampoline! A... a... an arm pully thing-a-ma-jig! I would say something mean, but I'm afraid the homeowners could kick my ass. Please don't hurt me. Go hurt Amy, she's the one who found your listing. Sorry Amy.

Yes, we have no bananas, we have no bananas todaaaay

I'm not saying they have bananas hanging from the ceiling. I'm saying they don't have bananas, so that's okay.

I'm also not saying that I can even tell what room this is. I think that's a stove, but does that really narrow things down?

(Found by Daniela. She liked the bathroom, but I got stuck on the ... kitchen?)

Chair contest winner

Man, you guys are great. Or sick, I really can't tell the difference any more. With each entry I'd say "There's the winner! No, there!" Those chairs and their magic eye seminars, their anticipation of strippers, their drinking problems. So sad.

It's not easy, but... (drum roll)... the winner is:

randilee!

"These chairs are still here," the weary undertaker wispered to his wife. "Don't they know the visitation was from 7 to 9 p.m.? If they don't leave soon I'm going to have to turn out the lights."

Thank you, randilee!

Peek-a-boo!

Hi! How are you! It's me, the giant ghostly stone face that will haunt your house. How's it going? So, do you want to buy the place? It's only $9,750,000. What a bargain! What, you'd like to see more photos? Toughy toenails, I'm all you get. So, are you going to buy it or not?

(Found by David.)

Just a humble ol' cabin

This photo looks eh, but not so awful. Some little shack in the woods, right? A hunting camp, maybe? Or... a $875,000 house? You be the judge. (By "you" I mean "real estate agent," because actually you don't get a say in the matter.)

Ladies of the World

Um... miss? Excuse me, miss? We're trying to take a photo here, if you could just... Crap, she's totally ignoring me. Is she drunk?

(Found by Angela.)

Snow on snow on snow

Unable to take any more of the bleak Finnish winter, the mini kitchen plugged itself in, scooted itself over to the sink, and prepared to throw itself in.

Bats in the belfry

Middle Way found this listing of misplaced things.

Plastic wrap on the bed!



Bricks in the bedroom!



A lawnmower in the kitchen!


My head on my desk.

There's not a minute to lose

Quick! He's gone! Get the house on the market now now now!

Found by Meg.

"i'll post better images soon."

Oh good. I was looking for a house where I could... make wontons?

This blog, as seen by Kanye West

... at least this is how he would see it if he were apartment-hunting in Belgium, like Valerie is.

Help! It's sinking!

Weighted down by the pink siding, the house slowly sank into the ground and was never seen again... at least not on the Earth's surface. If you're a hollow earther, well, have we got a bargain for you!

Parking by Officer Murphy

I used to know some guys who had at least 50 bicycles in their apartment. That was in a huge industrial loft, though, not a teeny condo. If I lived in a 566 square foot home, I think I would cut down on my bike collection. But I own more kitchen appliances than can fit on my counter, so who am I to judge?

Dearly beloved contest!

Fill in the blank: These chairs are here ________.

Leave your answer as a comment. The writer of the best (and what do I mean by "best"? I can't rightly say) comment will win a copy of Apartment Therapy Presents: Real Homes, Real People, Hundreds of Design Solutions.

NOTES:

1. You've got a week, so please make your comment(s) before late morning (Pacific time) of Thursday, January 8. EDIT: done!
   
2. I have to hand-approve all comments on this blog because of idiot SEO spammers, so don't worry if your thoughtful entry doesn't show up right away.
3. If the winner lives somewhere that makes it expensive for me to ship a hardback book to them, they might just win the satisfaction of a job well done.
4. This is being done by me, just me, and not any advertisers or companies or rogue states intent on (cue: patriotic music) taking over our beloved democracy through blogs.
5. Make sure you leave some way for me to contact you if you win. If you're posting while logged in with Google or Blogger, that should do it; otherwise, please leave your e-mail address (feel free to munge it).
6. Photo found by Karen.