I admit nothing

Since people I know in real life read this blog (or at least humor me by saying they do when I tug on their sleeves), I will not admit to being familiar with "Jon & Kate Plus 8". However, if I had ever watched that show late at night when I couldn't sleep and my God it's fascinating hoooo boy what with all the sippy cups and the chaos and the nervous breakdowns peeking over the horizon... anyway... when I got an e-mail from steph saying this was their house, I might've been particularly happy about seeing the listing.

But it's driving me absolutely nuts that I can't read these notes.

Edit: OK, some of you think those are Bible verses. I say you're loony. If you had eight kids and a TV crew running around your house, would you need Bible verses to look at while you brushed your teeth? Heck no. You'd need much more practical reminders. I think, if I squint, I can just make out what they say:

- THE SCHOOL BUS COMES AT 7:45 AM

- MILK, BREAD, APPLES, TOILET PAPER

- OUR KIDS NAMES ARE: CARA, ALEXIS, COLIN, HUNTER, GATHERER, MANNY, MO, JACK

- FIRST BRA, THEN SHIRT

NOW NOW NOW

I HAVE TO TAKE THE PHOTOS NOW

NO TIME TO WAIT FOR YOU GUYS TO GET OUT OF THE WAY



NO TIME TO TURN 90 DEGREES AND POINT THE CAMERA IN ANOTHER DIRECTION



NOW NOW NOW

(Found by Cecile. Once again I have a "I think someone else sent me this, but what did I do with it?" sensation.)

*sigh*

There's something about this listing that makes me feel... sad. A bit down in the dumps. Mildly unhappy. No, that's not it... melancholy? My hopes have been unfulfilled. :( . Things just don't feel right. I'm feeling the pressure of the times. I'm gloomy. I'm as melancholy as a gib cat, as grave as a mustard pot. Looking at the photo just makes me feel...

Nope, can't come up with the word, sorry.


Found by Mr. Zarquon on Magnolia Voice.

The land of smiles

I'm moving to Thailand! I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something in this listing Tristan found that made me think I'd be really happy to live there!

Faster! Faster!

Katie found this listing, which includes the above photo of a wheelchair on a treadmill. I'm trying and trying to think of the purpose, but...

OH HI GUYS WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Probably it's because I read 1984 at an impressionable age, but this listing (found by Susan) is giving me the creeps. Why is the TV watching the bed? Why won't it go away? Please go away, TV. Please give the nice people some privacy.

P.S. I know I've been sent this before, but I can't find the original e-mail or any post I made from it. So apologies to whoever sent it. And more apologies if I'm repeating myself. And I apologize for that parking job -- I really could've done better. And I'm sorry that I don't always wash the empty containers properly before I put them in the recycling bin. And I'm sorry that I'm using such small type here. It must really be hard on your eyes.

This one's for all the parents out there

OK, parents, 'fess up: you've done it, too, right? Look under the table to see what I'm talking about.

But -- and it's a big but -- here's the difference. Have you ever left a diaper on the floor and then listed your house on the interweb machines for everyone (including Kati, who found it) to see?

Oh.

You have?

Sorry.

Carry on.

Exterminate! Exterminate! With marshmallows on top!

Run, stove, run! Oh no... it didn't make it out in time.

Who could've done such a terrible thing? Why, it was none other than the evil YAMBOT. Half sweet potato, half robot, all villain.

(Found by Be This Way.)

Greetings from Me-Kwa-Mooks

Yes, this is what all real estate listings look like here in Seattle. Some day we will build houses, but for now it's just boats.

Hangin' out at the Gas 'n' Sip

Heather found this sofa convention. Why not include it in the listing? They're not hurting anyone. Hanging out, just hanging out.

This little room from the same listing, however... I don't want to know what happens in there, I really don't. Please don't tell me. I'm just going to say it's a pie safe and leave it at that.

Not included: cobbler

Ooh! Blackberry bushes! How unusual! Sold -- I'll take it!

Someone didn't get the memo

"Uh, Toaster Oven? Yeah, we were all kind of going for a theme, you know? Phone wore its dial, and Cabinets all came with their steel fronts. Even Bathroom Floor agreed to dress up in pink and gray. So... what I'm saying... look, it's nothing personal, but toaster ovens don't really go with what we're trying to do, okay? So, if you wouldn't mind just, you know, going for a walk or something? Thanks, man. No hard feelings, right?"

(Via Metafilter.)

✡! (whee I'm playing with Unicode)

I suppose I'm cheating by including this photo from a listing Matt found. I don't think it's really the Realtor's fault. I mean, there's a big frikkin' Star of David on the living room floor. What are you going to do? Not take a photo of it?

do not click (you have been warned)

IT'S ANOTHER ONE
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE
GAHHHHH

In England they call them "pot plants"

I've been wrong before... I could be wrong again.

For people with good pedigrees

"What?" you're thinking. "So it's cluttered and fussy and I'm glad I don't have to dust it, but what's so off about this listing Mid-C Frank found?"

Keep looking. Keeeep looking....

Hey, man, what's under the tarp?

What could be under the plastic tarp that's uglier than... a plastic tarp? It must be hideous, because otherwise they would just move the tarp out of the way before taking the photo. Right?

(You're thinking "It's a corpse," aren't you. We all are. We just don't want to say it.)

It won't get far on foot

"So long, suckers!" yelled the trampoline, running for the woods.

Brotherhood of the Plumbed Things

Thanks for coming, Washing Machine and Bathtub. As you know, I've wanted to have a meeting of Things That Require Plumbing for a long time, and -- being a sink -- I couldn't come to you. Bathtub, I see you already have a copy of tonight's agenda. Wait... Washing Machine... who's that standing behind you? Dryer? Does Dryer require plumbing? No! Therefore Dryer shouldn't be here tonight! Man, you couples that go everywhere together creep me out. Dryer, could you wait outside please?

Getting to know yooouuuu

I have nothing against laundry lines. I use one myself, in the three weeks a year when it isn't raining here. But if my house were for sale, would I include a photo of my laundry line? I would not. Especially if it weren't even my line, but it was the neighbor's line. Or maybe it's a house down the street. I can't even tell what freakin' house this is supposed to be part of.

I wonder if the people in the house know it's for sale? This has "Surprise! You're evicted!" written all over it.