Just a wee bit of TLC, that's all it needs. No, no, that's not anything bad there on the walls -- and floor, and ceiling, and in the lungs of the photographer, and perhaps seeping out of the monitors of anyone who looks at the listing -- it's, um... darkness. Yup. Just a shadow. Tranquil, isn't it?
DO NOT SIT HERE
DO NOT OPEN THIS FRIDGE
FEEL FREE TO TAKE A NICE RELAXING NAP HERE, THOUGH. AHHH. SO WARM.
Poor Eth. So young, so mothy. At least we'll always have this listing to remember you by.
(Found by Ingrid.)
Hey, Trin? There's something someone wanted you to know, but was too shy to tell you in person so instead he wrote it on a wall, listed the house for sale, made sure Cathy would find it and send it to me, and hoped you would see it here.
Sorry, Trin. That's a tough way to find out. And on St. Valentine's Day, too.
Found on delete yourself (<-- possibly not safe for work, or breakfast) by Tristan: this sexxy studio apartment. Nothing says "I'm getting lucky tonight" like painting "clothes off!" or "f*ck me I'm famous" on the walls. But more to the point -- how much does a gallon of white paint cost? It's a studio apartment (with 2.5 rooms, in the intriguing style of NYC listings). It would take, what, one morning to slap some paint over those mottoes.
Ah well, maybe the next buyer of the $399,000 studio will be just as happy to nestle into his or her bed under the inspiring call to arms of "sexx laws." (Can I be reading that right? What does that mean? Is it a 1984 reference?)
Here's the worst part: that "*" in the "f*ck." So timid, so pointless. I hate half-assed swearing. Go hard or go home, that's what I say!
Wait, you already are home.
I see your problem.
Kelsey found this listing -- and I found D.B. Cooper!
Quick! Swoop in! Get him! Who would've guessed he'd turn up in Kansas?
