Wood paneling, haunt me! Wood paneling, haunt me!

Not that I admit to ever having watched any of those Flip That House! Flip It! Flip Flip Flip! shows (are they on the air any more, I wonder, now that any given house's value is likely to go down by 60% before the new owner even gets the locks changed?), but if I had, I would've seen more than one where the flipper walked around spray painting on the walls where the fridge would go, where the cabinets would go, where the wall would be knocked down for a pass-through thus exposing six inches of asbestos and two inches of black mold.

In that vein, this house comes with convenient signs showing where the blood will be trickling from the walls during your next seance. Make sure you get a good seat, kids!

Closely resembling an apartment you can rent

Yes, I would like to rent this apartment. And I will pay you my rent with this:



Found by Joe.
And just to spell it out, because someone always gets confused -- not that I blame you, I think this blog mostly gets read by people waiting for the morning coffee to kick in -- the top photo is from the listing, the bottom photo is from the It's Lovely! HQ and is of some of the VERY FINGERS THAT ARE TYPING THIS ooooh

Dear new owner...

Aw, look! They left you a little "Welcome to your new home" note.

Luxury!

All thiiiissss... could be youuuuurrrrsssss....


(Found by Elizabeth.)

Trial Version!

This happy crew was found by Mr. Zarquon. I think it's sweet that the three women haven't shunned the conjoined twins in the middle.

Suck it in just a little further, buddy...

Peek-a-boo! I see you! You should learn how to crop photos, too!

To be fair: he is hiding behind the cupboard. To be even more fair: he's hiding on the wrong frikkin' side of the cupboard.


(Found by Tim.)

The Citgo sign is just out of the frame

So that's what's on the other side of the Green Monster. I think they make David Ortiz go there when they can't take his spitting one... minute... longer.