An aside

Found by Mr Zarquon on Horrible Tattoos. (And in case you don't read the comments, here's a little something Melinda whipped up for all your Chair needs...)

*honk, honk*

My ride's here! Gotta go!

Oh, screw it

I don't know, the land is over there somewhere. Or there. I don't know. You figure it out. It's just freaking $50,000, what do you expect from me?

(Found by Aeryn. Complicated math by Tom.)

It's all here

Ooh! Lotsa photos! That's all the information I need for my million-dollar purchase. Thanks!

(Found by Mosey.)

Why so glum, chum?

Michelle found this "Perfect 1st time buyers" listing. Get it now -- it won't last long at this price!

Avoiding listings altogether

Christina found this... well, it isn't exactly a listing. And it isn't exactly real estate. But it certainly is one way to go about trying to sell a home. Besides, it's a Saturday and the It's Lovely! editorial board isn't here, so let's go nuts.

A little privacy, please? Part II

"Huge backyard with potential..." Yes, nothing but potential here:

I'll pet it and brush it and call it "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"

Is it included? Because the listing doesn't say, and I feel that's a fairly important point.

(Found by Joey.)

You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to toss 'em on the floor

We each pick a card. High card wins the house.

(Found by Chris on The Front Steps.)

I must go down to pee again

Found on the excellent (and inspired by It's Lovely!) new blog Foute Huizen: this doomed ship. I guess when you run out of toilet paper you have a choice to make. Do you go buy more TP, or do you turn the pot into a place for your kids to play?

An old friend shows up

Chair -- get out of the fridge! Dinner will be ready any minute now.

Better than one of those shiny new outhouses

Really the photo above is an excuse for me to quote from the listing: the "old outhouse still standing!" The cabin has "not flooded that seller's know of."

What are you waiting for? It can only have become even more beautiful in the two years since the photo was taken!

In the not too distant listing...

"When will Cousin Servo come down to Earth and take me away from all this?" sighed the poor little robot, its head glowing gently in the sunlight.

(Found by Helen.)

$1399 / 3br - 3-Level TH, event horizon

Interested in renting this townhouse Amber found? Then get there quick, before it's sucked away, away, away through the black hole....

Fortunately... unfortunately...

On the positive side: Ania found this great one-bedroom apartment in Chelsea for only $1,500 a month.

On the negative side: your marble collection will always be rolling away, and there seems to be a cat burglar in the kitchen.

All for the want of a notepad

A quick browse through my Gregg manual and I see the former residents have left a message saying... hmmm... "BREAD, MILK, SPINACH, BANANAS."

I dialed 911 a long time ago / Don't you see... oh, wait, nevermind, there they are.

No, no, it's a sign of a good block to live on. Really. All the best neighborhoods have police vans parked throughout them.

(Found by Adam.)

"garage house (hollis)"

Elena found this plea for self-awareness and reflection. Remember: we are the garage houses we've been waiting for.

Wood paneling, haunt me! Wood paneling, haunt me!

Not that I admit to ever having watched any of those Flip That House! Flip It! Flip Flip Flip! shows (are they on the air any more, I wonder, now that any given house's value is likely to go down by 60% before the new owner even gets the locks changed?), but if I had, I would've seen more than one where the flipper walked around spray painting on the walls where the fridge would go, where the cabinets would go, where the wall would be knocked down for a pass-through thus exposing six inches of asbestos and two inches of black mold.

In that vein, this house comes with convenient signs showing where the blood will be trickling from the walls during your next seance. Make sure you get a good seat, kids!

Closely resembling an apartment you can rent

Yes, I would like to rent this apartment. And I will pay you my rent with this:



Found by Joe.
And just to spell it out, because someone always gets confused -- not that I blame you, I think this blog mostly gets read by people waiting for the morning coffee to kick in -- the top photo is from the listing, the bottom photo is from the It's Lovely! HQ and is of some of the VERY FINGERS THAT ARE TYPING THIS ooooh