The hook is for the rope bridge through the tiny door

"I said I wanted crown molding on the ceiling, Leroy! Crown molding, not... Oh, never mind, I'll get used to it."

Time to check your carbon monoxide detector's batteries

Ah, New Zealand, you never let me down.

Fiona found this disturbing scene. I think that the stove stunned the chairs while their backs were turned, causing them to pass out face-first. There's really no other explanation. But what will the stove do now, if it can escape the jail it's being held in? And what's that weird other alcove to the left? And why do listings from New Zealand all look so vibrant and computer-generated? Does New Zealand really exist? Has anyone actually been there?

"I understand what I'm saying! I understand what I'm saying!"

Becky found this aviary / three-bedroom colonial. One photo of loose parrots, I would understand; this listing has four of them.

I'm sure there are people who own caged birds and who live in houses that don't smell of droppings and wet newspaper. Really. They must exist. And this could well be just such a house.

(I spent far too long trying to find one word for "parrot droppings" with no luck. "Guano" gets used, but I don't think it's right. But my hay fever is in full bloom and it's a wonder I can even remember how to log into this website, never mind coming up with the right term for parrot fewmet.)

Does not meet ADA standards.

"Lower level(above ground)" says this listing, found by Suzanne and Corinne. Above ground. Far, far above ground... plus it includes a living room, a breakfast nook, a bedroom, and a full bathroom!

Let's get ready to rumble!

On the count of three, come out of your corners swinging. One... two...


(Found by Candace.)

I know what I like, and that's not it

Ellen found this delightful mansion in Duckburg. Who's never wrong, but always right? Who'd never dream of starting a fight?

Not included: head

Oh, her? Don't worry about her. She only comes out once in a while. We're pretty certain she's the Ghost of Affordable Housing in Seattle. She won't bother you at all.