breezy

This photo is the best -- the loveliest! the most flattering! -- of the lot in the listing Emily found.

Is this the house? Would you really call it a Cape Cod, as the listing does? Just what does it mean when it says it has air conditioning? Does "air conditioning" mean something other to you than it does to me? When you're at the hardware store picking up supplies for emergency roof repair, do you think something like this: "Oh, and I need to get one of those big things... those waterproof things... what are they called? They're big, and blue, and flat... I know! 'Air conditioning'! That's what they're called!"

Mt. Rainier could blow any minute now, you know

Grab the children! Run! The volcano has erupted and there's lava everywhere! Go, for the love of all that's holy! Save the listing and run!

Peel back corner to allow steam to vent

There are many perfectly good reasons for putting Saran Wrap over the top third of your fireplace before taking its photo for a listing, as Rebecca found. For example:


ah



um



hey, I hear my mom calling, gotta go

Pants Ironed While You Wait

And as long as you're here... want to buy a house?

Hey!

Chair, do you mind? A little privacy, please! Nobody likes a peeping Tom.

Plan B

Josh found this listing, and pointed out something I didn't see right away: "Mmmh. A foreclosure that is empty except for a red, 1-gallon can of gasoline." Whoops.

Buy now! Won't last long!

Not included: gum

Oh, come on. For a quarter million bucks, couldn't you at least fill the gum machine? What are they teaching them at staging school these days, anyway?

Rule #1 of staging: ALWAYS FILL THE GUM MACHINE.