knock knock knock

Somehow I missed this in the Preparedness Plan house. I think it works well with the theme, though. You never know when you'll need to flee the house -- or when you'll need to rush in from the yard.

Fine, if you have a helicopter

"What's wrong with this photo?" you ask. "It looks like a perfectly nice house to me." Well, I agree. There's nothing wrong with the photo. I'm cheating. It's just that... well, you see the driveway? I can't help but wonder what it's connected to, as the listing makes one thing very clear: "THERE IS NO LEGAL ACCESS TO THIS PROPERTY IT IS LAND LOCKED."

(via #mefi.)

Preparedness plan

Heather found this under-the-weather listing. Get well soon! And please please please, aim for the bucket...

A soft landing for Santa

A subtle clue tells me that this is not a working fireplace.

Uh... hi, guys. What's up?

Oh, hi, Chairs. Ruth told me she'd seen you guys waiting here. Yeah, I've been mentioning you a few times in my blog lately... we're cool, though, right? You know it's out of affection, right? This is a welcoming party, not a threatening gang, right? Because you're looking a little thuggish standing there all together...

please don't hurt me

breezy

This photo is the best -- the loveliest! the most flattering! -- of the lot in the listing Emily found.

Is this the house? Would you really call it a Cape Cod, as the listing does? Just what does it mean when it says it has air conditioning? Does "air conditioning" mean something other to you than it does to me? When you're at the hardware store picking up supplies for emergency roof repair, do you think something like this: "Oh, and I need to get one of those big things... those waterproof things... what are they called? They're big, and blue, and flat... I know! 'Air conditioning'! That's what they're called!"

Mt. Rainier could blow any minute now, you know

Grab the children! Run! The volcano has erupted and there's lava everywhere! Go, for the love of all that's holy! Save the listing and run!