Thank you for not making me a footstool

Shhh. Chair and Chair's friend, Chair, are praying.

Chairman of the board

Found by Charlene: this... uh... apartment? Help me, Google... Ah, now it makes sense. It's a "Board of 8m ² and 22m3 on the 3rd floor," complete with a "toilet on the floor." Que bueno.

A blow for international understanding

Think that Japanese people are fastidious? Ha! Feast your eyes on this listing Emily found, and feel your outdated cultural stereotypes dissolve!

It's a world of garbage, a world of crumbs
A world of cleaning left undone
A world we all share and it's time we were aware
We're all messy after all...

"massive walking clothest"

There...

Back in the bathroom...

Is it?

Oh dear. I think it is. Hold on while I get a Modesty Chair... Okay, here you go. Make up your own mind.



(Found by Cam, who has an impressive eye for detail.)

Windows Protection Error

Eh, it's just a window. Not very exciting.

What's that?

You want the window to be exciting?

Well: ta dah! Here you go. From another listing, for a house that's six kilometers (I speak Australian!) away:


Now, that's an exciting listing! Yeah! I'll buy it!


(Both listings found by Marsha.)

A "lose face" joke would be too predictable

"Man, I'm really too embarrassed to have this portrait of grandma in the messy, messy listing. What should I do? Should I clean my house before taking the photos? No, that's crazy talk. I know! I'll drape a cloth over it! And then, after I take the photos, I'll scribble over them with a Sharpie! Grandma would be so proud."

(Found by Emily.)

Ceremonial leaving of the housewarming present

Househunter M. Flavius Aurelius saw this listing in a real estate agent's office window. Sure, from my American perspective it looks... ah... not really all that inviting. But careful research reveals that, in Australia, a house really isn't considered to be "warmed" until a dog has circled it three times, dragging its behind along the lawn.

This photo shows that the house comes pre-christened, which increases the sale price by an average of AUS$10,000. Cheers!

I just spent far too long trying to figure out if the dog was going widdershins, given that this is the Southern hemisphere... almost as long as I spent previously trying to figure out if Australia really was antipodal to me [it isn't]. I need a special vocabulary list just for Austral listings.)