Like a stuffed animal, but flat

 

Who's a cute little fuzzy wall? You is! Yes you is. I just want to cuddle with you, you cute little furry basement. Awwww. And Kate found you, yes she did! Fuzzy Wuzzy was a wall! Tickle tickle tickle!

Closely resembling a real house

 

I'm pretty certain this is 3-D, but I've got a lazy eye and those damn things never work for me.  Here, print these off and see if it works, will you?

 

 

Note: glasses not from listing

Note note: No, really, if I don't say that someone will think they are

Not included: sand

Yes, I like the apartment Karen found very much, but there's one thing... you see, I have a jar of Vaseline, and I need to be able to keep it on a bathroom cabinet. I just don't know. Will it fit?

It will? Are you sure?

A photo! Thank you! How helpful. Now I know just what a jar of petroleum jelly would look like. That's very important information.

"Do not Disturb tenants..."

... they're already disturbed enough.

UPDATE: As per Bill's Bayou's suggestion, the photo currently on the listing:



Ahh. Much better.


ANOTHER UPDATE: From Bill's Bayou:

Spoooooky....

This listing needs to make wudu

 

What a modest three-bedroom townhouse Katrina found!

"Calvmkztm obcqu dyfigl erlacppyaq obcqu qvlw obcqu alvmkztm obcqu."

 

Well, sure, I like the house, and I like the thought of raising my children there. One thing, though. I can't quite picture what it would look like during a home break-in, and that's very important to me.

Oh! Like that! Great -- just what I needed! Thanks.

(Found by Jeannine. Gibberish in title taken from the listing. I think it's the sound the photographer made after seeing the stealthy, stealthy person.)

EDIT: Here's the video people are talking about. It's a bad boy. It's nuts, man.

All the Realtors go "tweet tweet tweet"

Aww. How cheery!

What happened to this blog? First a little sleeping begartered baby, now little tweety goldfinches. I used to be cool, man. Now I'm so full of sweetness and decency that I'm not even going to comment on the six-food tall flowers and how they're surely a sign of nuclear waste being buried in the backyard, and if they can grow to that height who's to say they won't tear themselves out of the ground and stomp around making mad tulip sounds.

Pfffffff! Unleash the tulips of Hell!

The listing is here, but a) I couldn't get it to work in Firefox, and b) it slowed my computer waaaay down for a good ten minutes when I tried it in another browser, and c) it has music. On the other hand the birds are animated, and how awesome is that?

UPDATE: Yeah, everyone else can get it to work. I'm uncool and don't know how to use a computer. Both!