So long, suckers!

"I can't take this listing one minute longer. I'm outta here!" Vrrrrooooommmm.....


(Found by Leslie.)

Elvis has, in fact, not left the building.

Can I get you anything else, ma'am? Maybe a nice peanut butter and bacon sandwich?

(Found by Janette. Sorry about using the obvious "left the building" joke, but I have no will power. Mmmm. Bacon.)

Please remove your boots right... there.

Yeah, okay, it's just a dirty carpet. Whatever. We've seen much, much, worse. But as mars78 pointed out -- it's a freaking SIXTEEN MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE. I can rent a steam cleaner from the grocery store up the street for twenty bucks, and my kids would pay me to let them use it (especially because we don't have any carpets and it would be an extra exciting experience using it on the wood floors).

Is the profit margin really that teeny on real estate that they can't afford the expense? If so, they should consider getting into a more profitable business. Like blogging. That's where the smart money is these days. Uh-huh.

Taking a mallet-head

How festive! Lori found a cheerful place for us to set up our croquet games -- look, it already has the stakes set up! You bring the mallets, I'll bring the bourbon.

Wheeeeee

From the same listing as the dryer below comes this fun! exciting! deck! If that's what it takes to keep the religious pamphleteers away, it's fine with me.

*clunk*

It's looks like that's a pretty new dryer back there, which is nice.

Admittedly you can't open the door to it, which cuts down somewhat on its usefulness. But think of the energy you'll save!

No pot of gold at the end of this rainbow

Sure, you think a leprechaun's life is easy, don't you? All pipes and gold and jigs and smiles. But no. Sometimes the gold isn't enough. Sometimes a leprechaun can't take the thought of fixing one more pair of shoes. And when the pressure to keep that laughter coming becomes too much...

(Found by PJ & Jen. Please donate to the Society for Leprechaun Mental Health Services today.)