VrooooOOOOOOOOOoooooom

I am the ghoooooost.... the ghost of cars past......


(Found by Bing.)

No, really, it's lovely.

There are two reasons why I have nothing mean to say about this listing, which was found by Beth (and also by someone who wishes to remain anonymous).

1. I'm afraid they'll send me a mean letter, and
2. I honestly think it's really freaking awesome. Come on! Look at it! LOOK AT IT!!!

Sorry. I might have taken a few too many allergy pills this morning (can you see the lasers shooting out of my eyes, or is that just me?). But really, I do think it's great. I thoroughly approve of people going nuts in their own homes. Good luck to the real estate agent, but dang, if I had a spare seven million bucks (I don't, I checked) and I wanted to live in Connecticut, I'd be moving in tomorrow.

Anyway. Because the people involved have shown themselves to be rather protective of the listing, let's only say nice things in the comments, shall we?

FEEL HAPPY NOW

FEEL HAPPY

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

YOU WILL FEEL HAPPY NOW

OR ELSE


(Found by mo-mo.)

You had the last box SX-70 film and you used it for this?

Oh look -- David Hockney needs a housemate.

(Found by Leila.)

They're fleeing in droves

Is this a... a... a thing? A listing fad? This season, are all the fashionable real estate agents are putting up photos of people driving away? Perhaps it's supposed to show that you won't have to evict anybody, which is always good (unless you like evicting people, and I suppose everyone needs a hobby).

(Found by Andrew. Finally.)

So long, suckers!

"I can't take this listing one minute longer. I'm outta here!" Vrrrrooooommmm.....


(Found by Leslie.)

Elvis has, in fact, not left the building.

Can I get you anything else, ma'am? Maybe a nice peanut butter and bacon sandwich?

(Found by Janette. Sorry about using the obvious "left the building" joke, but I have no will power. Mmmm. Bacon.)

Please remove your boots right... there.

Yeah, okay, it's just a dirty carpet. Whatever. We've seen much, much, worse. But as mars78 pointed out -- it's a freaking SIXTEEN MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE. I can rent a steam cleaner from the grocery store up the street for twenty bucks, and my kids would pay me to let them use it (especially because we don't have any carpets and it would be an extra exciting experience using it on the wood floors).

Is the profit margin really that teeny on real estate that they can't afford the expense? If so, they should consider getting into a more profitable business. Like blogging. That's where the smart money is these days. Uh-huh.

Taking a mallet-head

How festive! Lori found a cheerful place for us to set up our croquet games -- look, it already has the stakes set up! You bring the mallets, I'll bring the bourbon.

Wheeeeee

From the same listing as the dryer below comes this fun! exciting! deck! If that's what it takes to keep the religious pamphleteers away, it's fine with me.

*clunk*

It's looks like that's a pretty new dryer back there, which is nice.

Admittedly you can't open the door to it, which cuts down somewhat on its usefulness. But think of the energy you'll save!

No pot of gold at the end of this rainbow

Sure, you think a leprechaun's life is easy, don't you? All pipes and gold and jigs and smiles. But no. Sometimes the gold isn't enough. Sometimes a leprechaun can't take the thought of fixing one more pair of shoes. And when the pressure to keep that laughter coming becomes too much...

(Found by PJ & Jen. Please donate to the Society for Leprechaun Mental Health Services today.)

housekeeping

I've heard from a few people lately that they can't get to this blog. Some of the problems are with Blogger, some seem to be random, and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it (I'm trying). Of course, if they can't get here they can't see this... hmmm. I may need to rethink this.

But for future reference: the best URL for this website is

http://www.lovelylisting.com

You might have something else bookmarked. You do have this bookmarked, right? And you're following it with an RSS reader, and with Google Friends, and -- brand new! -- on Twitter, right?

Right?

Hello?

Sigh.

Not included: prince

Want to buy the house Salamanda found? First you have to spend the night in this bedroom. If you toss and turn all night because of the pea under the mattresses, it's yours!

Meanwhile, in the back yard...

Oh, blue Chairs, why do you discriminate? Bring the table back and let Chair join in your game.

But anyway. It's not just an Ohio thing! Kansas is looking for a princess, too, as this listing knitorpurl found shows:

I am confused. The castles don't look like I expected them to. I'm clearly out of touch with modern royalty.

Go chicken go

 

I CAN ONLY BUY HOUSES THAT COME WITH GIANT CHICKENS
DOES THIS HOUSE MANDY FOUND INCLUDE A CHICKEN
OH IT DOES
LOOK THERE IT IS
I'LL BUY IT

Hand me the power saw, willya?

Becca found this listing months ago, but I am slooow -- so slow that the place has already rented. Sorry, you'll have to find some other home to live in; some other apartment that apparently has a man breaking into it from the garage.

Too Much Coffee Cat

Look deeeep into my eyessss... you will buy the house. You will let me stay. You will buy lobster and salmon and feeeed them to meeeeeee. Gooood.

As a bonus, you can listen to the "Audio Description" on the listing and hear me play bongos with my little paws.


(Found by Emily.)

"Incredible View of the Lake"

I think... there might be something (whooooo) wrong with... the water... supply...

(Found by Amanda.)

¡Fiesta time!

When your house is a "rehab project needs roof gutters carpet vinyl, doors trim appliance," perhaps razing it is the best option. There are two ways methods of tearing a house down:

1) Hire a demolition crew

or

2) Decorate it like a piñata and hand out broomsticks to the neighborhood kids.

snappy

What? Why would you say that? That sounds incredibly painful, and what does it have to do with your listing anyway? Freak!

Oh.

Nippers. You said "nippers." Sorry about the outburst. See, I thought you said... never mind.


(Found by Victoria.)