Long Time No See

Oh, how sad. I've been neglecting poor Chair, and now Chair has to try to sneak into photos that are weird all on their own -- like this one Mandy found. Sorry, Chair!

Fixer, fixer, fixer!

Sure, this house Heather found looks cool at first glance. But do you know how much it'll cost to get a contractor to repair the laser damage from the Y-wing? And I thought getting popcorn ceilings removed was going to be bad...

(Thanks to burhanistan for stopping me from really embarassing myself with a spacecraft misidentification. X-wing? What was I smoking?)

Included: thirsty terrier

Decisions, decisions...

MLS #20920891

$1,449,000

Imagine them tap dancing. *tippety tippety tippety*

You show people in listings, and I complain. You don't show people in listings, and I complain again. Clearly this listing Liz found is an attempt at compromise, and I'm a jerk for not being satisfied. Pfft! Me.

Oh, just leave them to soak.

(I lived in NYC for seven freaking years and I never saw the famous Kitchen Tub. I don't know what I was doing wrong.)

So you might think showing that the tub is in the kitchen wouldn't really be a selling point. But no! The real estate agent has actually shown great restraint in this listing Cory found (click here for the photos). "Claw tub in kitchen," the listing sez... "and toilet in public hallway." Just think of the photo they could have used. Or don't, if you're the sensitive type. Anyway, here's to you, real estate agent with restraint!

Rental; $1,995 a month.

INCLUDED: WARMER OVEN DRAWER, FREESTANDING RANGE, DIRECT LINE TO GOD

I used to live in former convent that had been turned into a hippie commune (which I first typed as "hippie commute," an intriguing -- yet unpleasant -- idea). We'd done very little to change the house, and one day a resident pointed out to me that we were still using the nuns' old toilet seat. "Nuns' buns," he said. "Nuns' buns!"

So sure, the real estate agent can write "Home has been blessed by God's servants" in the listing. But to me? All this photo makes me think of is... how refreshing that glass of lemonade looks.

(Found by Lydia. MLS #11237950.)

The small dresser is for keeping Graham crackers in

Make s'mores in bed!

Have heart-to-heart discussions in the intimate conversation nook!

All this could be yours for just US$1,600 a month! Call now! Or not.

(Found by Ashling.)