Because Jon spent all the money on smokes and sunglasses

Life just wasn't the same for Aaden, Alexis, Collin, Hannah, Joel, and Leah after the divorce.

(Found by Meghan.)

All day, all night

No, I don't know why I have insomnia. I just sometimes get this feeling like someone's... watching me.

Yeah, them...

Specifically, that guy right there. A little privacy, please? Jesus!


(Found by Nicole.)

Cleanliness Helps Prevent Foodborne Illness

Fridge, please remember to wash your hands before returning to the kitchen. Thank you.

You'll feel a slight pinch

 

You dance divinely, my dear, simply divinely. One and two and three and dip! Wait, wait, come back! I didn't mean that kind of dip... Sorry, sorry, sorry. It won't happen again. No need for you to be so crabby... oh, crap.

(Found by Snoskred Avalanch.)

Aww, who's a cute little enormous car-eating monster? Who? Who?

NOM NOM NOM

I HAVE EATEN YOUR CAR

IT WAS NOMMY

thank you

(Found by Emily.)

The chairs GATHER toGETHER...

Things I have had in basements of various house I've lived in:
• a woodshop
  
• a motorcycle
  
• an enormous tank of heating oil
  
• a man building guitar amps out of coffee cans
  
• a recording studio
  
• a magazine's office
  
• a washer and dryer (booo, boring, booo)
  
• a flood

Things I had not previously considered having:
• a chapel

(Found by Erin.)

Taking pride in one's ethnic heritage a tad too far

What you can't see: the Scottish ninja camouflaged on the ceiling, waiting to drop on the next person to walk through the swinging doors.


(Found by Chris. Warning: music. The kind of music they play on the TV while showing "Weather around the USA!")