NOW YOU WILL BE CHEERFUL.

Sorry, sorry, listings have been grim lately. Here! Cheerful! So CHEERFUL! GRITTED TEETH CHEERFUL! BE CHEERFUL, DAMN IT! NO GROCERIES UNTIL YOU'RE CHEERFUL!

(From a listing found earlier by Solvi.)

Escape from Hamster Hoosgow

"So long, suckers!" cried the hamster, knowing she could escape prison while the jailers battled the fire she'd set.

(Found by Sara. A different Sara.)

When spin art goes very, very wrong. And zombies are involved.

Ahhhhh! I warned you about the zombie Chair mob, but did you listen to me? Nooooo!


(Found by Johnathan on seattlebubble.)

Brains..... plastic braaaiiiinnnnssss.....

Help! It's just like Night of the Living Dead here. But in the day. And in a real estate listing. And with the part of Zombie Mob being played by Chairs.

But other than that, they're indistinguishable.

Flush that sadness away

I feel bad about how depressed the eleven mattress, one bathroom listing below seems to be making everyone this morning. So here! Found by Pascale (and Mid-C Frank, I see you there) on Curbed: one cheerful* listing. Two seats, no waiting!


* Cheerfulness not guaranteed.

Because Jon spent all the money on smokes and sunglasses

Life just wasn't the same for Aaden, Alexis, Collin, Hannah, Joel, and Leah after the divorce.

(Found by Meghan.)

All day, all night

No, I don't know why I have insomnia. I just sometimes get this feeling like someone's... watching me.

Yeah, them...

Specifically, that guy right there. A little privacy, please? Jesus!


(Found by Nicole.)