They prefer hurdy gurdys. (Hurdie gurdies? Hurdies gurdy?)

STOP IT! STOP IT!

YOUR POPCORN MACHINE IS SO LOUD THAT IT'S HURTING THE MONKEY'S EARS

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TURN OFF THE POPCORN MACHINE

POOR MONKEY

POOR, POOR MONKEY

NO POPCORN FOR DEAFENED MONKEY

(Found by Anna.)

It doubles as a garbage disposal

Included: washer, dryer, spinning portal to another dimension, stove.

(Found by Carlos.)

NOW YOU WILL BE CHEERFUL.

Sorry, sorry, listings have been grim lately. Here! Cheerful! So CHEERFUL! GRITTED TEETH CHEERFUL! BE CHEERFUL, DAMN IT! NO GROCERIES UNTIL YOU'RE CHEERFUL!

(From a listing found earlier by Solvi.)

Escape from Hamster Hoosgow

"So long, suckers!" cried the hamster, knowing she could escape prison while the jailers battled the fire she'd set.

(Found by Sara. A different Sara.)

When spin art goes very, very wrong. And zombies are involved.

Ahhhhh! I warned you about the zombie Chair mob, but did you listen to me? Nooooo!


(Found by Johnathan on seattlebubble.)

Brains..... plastic braaaiiiinnnnssss.....

Help! It's just like Night of the Living Dead here. But in the day. And in a real estate listing. And with the part of Zombie Mob being played by Chairs.

But other than that, they're indistinguishable.

Flush that sadness away

I feel bad about how depressed the eleven mattress, one bathroom listing below seems to be making everyone this morning. So here! Found by Pascale (and Mid-C Frank, I see you there) on Curbed: one cheerful* listing. Two seats, no waiting!


* Cheerfulness not guaranteed.