Ah, college days

Admittedly, sofa-in-the-hedge look isn't usually a selling point. But it seems to be on fire, so the problem will've taken care of itself soon enough.


(Found by Salamanda.)

All the Realtors go "tweet tweet tweet"

Aww. How cheery!

What happened to this blog? First a little sleeping begartered baby, now little tweety goldfinches. I used to be cool, man. Now I'm so full of sweetness and decency that I'm not even going to comment on the six-food tall flowers and how they're surely a sign of nuclear waste being buried in the backyard, and if they can grow to that height who's to say they won't tear themselves out of the ground and stomp around making mad tulip sounds.

Pfffffff! Unleash the tulips of Hell!

The listing is here, but a) I couldn't get it to work in Firefox, and b) it slowed my computer waaaay down for a good ten minutes when I tried it in another browser, and c) it has music. On the other hand the birds are animated, and how awesome is that?

UPDATE: Yeah, everyone else can get it to work. I'm uncool and don't know how to use a computer. Both!

Madness in every direction

We were somewhere around Glide on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying "You'd better put up the listing..."


(Found by Becky.)

whirrr WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME beep

THE ROBOTS WELCOME YOU TO YOUR NEW HOME

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME

DO NOT BE ALARMED

WE ARE FRIENDLY ROBOTS

FRIENDLY ROBOTS WITH BIG STICKS

beep beep beep beep

DANCE THE ROBOT WITH US

WE SAID, DANCE THE ROBOT

NOT LIKE THAT

IS THAT REALLY HOW WE LOOK WHEN WE DANCE

HOW EMBARRASSING

beep whirrr beep

I think they're performing The Nutcracker

Doo-dee doo-dee doo-dee DOO-DEE (da da da da da da da da DAAAAH da-da-da)

Brie found these old friends, practicing for a recital.

Bring your own smudge sticks, salt, holy water...

"If you do sense something that is very disruptive or frightening to you in some way, then it's better to bring in someone who is skilled in the way of exorcism, because this is what will need to be performed. This is also often the case where a house has been built on an ancient burial site, where the spirits are disturbed and displeased."

-WikiHow's "How to Spiritually Cleanse Your Home of Psychic Disturbances"

Found by Marianne. Your nightmares tonight are her fault.

Once upon a time, all listings looked like this

We know they had a camera, because they took interior photos (hoo boy did they take interior photos) in this listing that Stuart found. And yet this is the exterior shot they think will draw in the buyers in this market. I am... am... well, I'm not a real estate agent, what do I know about selling houses? Bupkis. And that is why I'm not trying to sell a house.

It would be good, I think, of more people paused for a few seconds of self-reflection before starting a business transaction that will run into hundreds of thousands of dollars. "Do I know anything about selling a house? No? Huh, so maybe I should find someone who does."


Still, look! It comes with a hand truck. Maybe we can use it to carry the dustcatchers out of the photo. Grab the handle -- go on -- just use your thumb and index finger to make little pinchy motions...

Takes care of the "Thanks, I needed that" guy

Jesse, who found this, thinks they couldn't afford curtains but had a spare pile o' bricks. I think they built a not-up-to-code addition and accidentally covered up a window. (Don't ask me how I know about these things, but I'll give you a hint: I see a window a lot like this every morning when I take a shower.)

Green, green grass of home

This beautiful lawn was found by Clint of the Portland Housing Blog, and isn't it delightful? Yes, they'll all come to see me, in the shade of that old oak tree...

Party central!

"Party inside the spacious living room or on the covered patio; great place to invite friends over for good times." And look! It comes with guests!

Found by cortex, who will continue his househunt.

(It's hard to link to, but if you're really curious the MLS number is 8058002.)

Lemme out!

John from Portland sensibly asks: "Just what do they have trapped in the toilet?"