I'M IN UR BLOG CHANGING UR LAYOUT

Fireworks!

Big fluffy cats!

Sunny days!

What has me so cheerful? I NO LONGER HAVE TO MODERATE COMMENTS. Thanks to a recent merger of It's Lovely! Corp. and LOLcats Inc, I get to do all the fun stuff from now on while some poor intern at a desk made out of sawhorses and an old door has to deal with the trolls and Spam (mmmm, troll Spam).

So, hello, pussycat! I don't know what people who come to the Internet for the cute kittens are going to think about photos of moldy carpets and naked Estonian men, but Cheezeburger, LTD has confidence it will all be fine. I'll still be doing the writing, such as it is; I just don't have to do the technical side any more. This should be a relief for anyone who witnessed the "I think I'll change the layout, tra la la!" fiasco of earlier this year.

I'm really really really hoping I Can Haz Blog Empire will make stuffed Chairs for small children to cuddle up with. Please suggest that a lot in the comments. The comments I no longer have to moderate. And also please be nice to all the new readers who have no idea what's going on here. And also please figure out the name of the company I now work for and let me know what it is because I wasn't really paying attention and I swear they go by, like, ten different names.

Onwards!

(Fireworks found by Ben; cat found by Anna; glowing house found by Deedee; LOLborg vs Chair, which is not from a real estate listing, by me.)

Perfect neighborhood for BASE jumpers

Ahhh. The best part of being a homeowner? Climbing the viewing platform in your backyard and surveying your property.

Tinkle tinkle tinkle (no not that kind of tinkling)

Included: washer, dryer, art installation titled "My Feet Ow Ow My Feet," furnace.

(The house is off the market, but the information is here if you're curious.)

Stay! And keep staying... and stay. Stay. Stay! Stay.

Well, yes, there's a dog sitting on the sideboard, which is sort of odd. But it's a dead dog, and that makes it all okay.

(Found by Leslie. WARNING VERY LOUD MAN SPEAKING VERY LOUDLY IN A LOUD VOICE THAT MAKES ME THINK OF THE ROAD ADVISORIES I LISTEN TO BEFORE DRIVING OVER THE MOUNTAIN PASSES DURING WINTER.)

Please give generously.

I couldn't live in this house, because I suffer from Anthropomorphisis and every time I walked in the door I would see something like this:

(For those who have not had their morning hot beverage yet: the bottom photo is not from a listing.)

They prefer hurdy gurdys. (Hurdie gurdies? Hurdies gurdy?)

STOP IT! STOP IT!

YOUR POPCORN MACHINE IS SO LOUD THAT IT'S HURTING THE MONKEY'S EARS

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TURN OFF THE POPCORN MACHINE

POOR MONKEY

POOR, POOR MONKEY

NO POPCORN FOR DEAFENED MONKEY

(Found by Anna.)

Cleanliness Helps Prevent Foodborne Illness

Fridge, please remember to wash your hands before returning to the kitchen. Thank you.

Taking pride in one's ethnic heritage a tad too far

What you can't see: the Scottish ninja camouflaged on the ceiling, waiting to drop on the next person to walk through the swinging doors.


(Found by Chris. Warning: music. The kind of music they play on the TV while showing "Weather around the USA!")

The headless cowman

Moooo.

Oink?

Mooooooooo.



(Cow hiney found by bARRY; pig found by Thomas or Susie; hanging cow-thing found by David.)

Fixer, fixer, fixer!

Sure, this house Heather found looks cool at first glance. But do you know how much it'll cost to get a contractor to repair the laser damage from the Y-wing? And I thought getting popcorn ceilings removed was going to be bad...

(Thanks to burhanistan for stopping me from really embarassing myself with a spacecraft misidentification. X-wing? What was I smoking?)

Included: thirsty terrier

Decisions, decisions...

MLS #20920891

$1,449,000

Look away, children

Which is better? With?

Or without?

("With" found by Anna.)

Lifetips 101

I used to be one of those people who could never find her keys, but now I have a system. When I walk through the door I put my wallet and phone on the table, my keys in the big bowl, and right by the door I...

No more pesky paper cuts!

Admittedly Jane's letter opener (seen on the wall, above) is a bit on the excessive side... but you should see what she uses for a fondue fork.


(Found by Anna.)

I've got your "Driveway Moment" right here, NPR

Finally, a solution for those times when you're just too tired to make it all the way in to the house. Presenting: The Driveway Bed. Nighty-night!

boing boing boing

Well, what do you expect when you build your house by a fault line?

Note to self...

How helpful! This toilet comes with a handy dandy reminder that, every day at 6:20, it's time to take a bathroom break. Great for people who spend a bit too much time on the Interwebs and need to be reminded to do things like eat, shower, and change out of their pajamas.

Always in the last place you look

 

Is it there? No...

 

Not there, either...

There it is! That's where I left the sink! Wait for me, guys, I'm coming!

Call the police! They're hoarding our nation's velour supply!

Yes! Ricki has found a listing that will help the USA wrest the Technicolor Dreamhouse Cup away from New Zealand and Australia. USA! USA! USA!

Help, I can't stop putting up photos...

OK, just one more. How would you decide which table to eat your Frankenberry at?

Well, one more.

OH MY GOD THE GLORY OF IT ALL

Taking a mallet-head

How festive! Lori found a cheerful place for us to set up our croquet games -- look, it already has the stakes set up! You bring the mallets, I'll bring the bourbon.