Friday, June 26, 2009

Call the police! They're hoarding our nation's velour supply!


Yes! Ricki has found a listing that will help the USA wrest the Technicolor Dreamhouse Cup away from New Zealand and Australia. USA! USA! USA!

Help, I can't stop putting up photos...


OK, just one more. How would you decide which table to eat your Frankenberry at?


Well, one more.


OH MY GOD THE GLORY OF IT ALL

82 comments:

Industria Dowler said...

*stabs out her eyes*

Wendy said...

Wow, and there are even more lovely photos on the listing... All that for only $796K? A bargain at any price!

Anonymous said...

OMG It comes furnished.....I would totally live there.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking that this must be what the Playboy Mansion looked like in the 70's and then, viola, I do believe there is a picture of Hugh Hefner on one of the walls. I guess if anyone is in need of a bordello then this would be a dream come true.

PrincessLuceval said...

Wow, they already have Michael Jackson's house for sale?

Anonymous said...

OMG! :O

blake said...

I used to want to have an entire house that was made out of the material that a pimp would wear. But know that i see it, i'm not that impressed. Thanks, your blog just saved me a ton of money.

absepa said...

Who would have thought that someone had been lovingly maintaining Liberace's house since his death?

Emmy said...

But the whole house would be so soft! I know what I am going to spend my 3/4 million I have sitting around on! HA!

Anonymous said...

WHo's stuck in the 60's? Well this house of course. Amazing!
Kathy G

Stuart said...

Please don't ask me why, but all I can imagine is bits of Jolly Rancher candies stuck to every surface.

I need help.

dissimilitude said...

LOL, no, Abseba, I think Liberace looked at this place and said "Nah...a little over the top."

dissimilitude said...

Oh, and I just noticed -- they're selling it FURNISHED! *dies a little*

Galadriel said...

Why is this listed as a a single family house? It's clearly a bordello.

Sue T. said...

As my dear mother used to say - some people have all of their taste in their mouth...

And does anyone else think that even the bricks around the fireplace look as if they are velour-covered? A-MAZE-ING.

Hi! I'm Erin said...

The kitchen is such a let-down after all the lovely fuzziness of every other room! Although, I don't know if I'd want my kitchen to be fuzzy...

mudslicker said...

Wow. Are you sure we didn't just stumble upon the interior set of a Bollywood movie--Raj at the Taj?

This house doesn't know the concept of blues and greens does it?

bzzzzgrrrl said...

I actually sort of love this house.

But I'm with you, Hi! I'm Erin. Seems like there could be a lot more, um, panache, even without fuzziness.

Angela said...

Okay -- I have to say to the people that loved yesterday's BRIGHT COUNTRY aestetic that this 70s velour thing -- I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it and if I had $796 k to burn -- I would buy it in a moment.

Call me crazy (and yes, I have an orange velour vintage 70s loveseat!).

Anonymous said...

Okay -- and I actually love the poster who said "and viola" when she meant "Voila!" -- which is the cutest typo ever! I'm going to say viola for voila from now on!

Sabra said...

My three-year-old just ran in, said she wanted it, and then started quacking. I'm not sure what that means.

Elia said...

*shudder* (looks quickly away)
Oh hey! The microwave timer! Too bad I don't think I'm going to be able to eat!

Angel said...

Please someone, please tell me... HOW? How do you show that home with a straight face? How do you not burst out in laughter in front of your client?? HOW??

Wendy said...

Oh, I thought it was Graceland!

Laura said...

I must own this house and all it's furnishings! I must have it. My soul is crying out for this house.

Compy said...

I think Disco Vampires live there.

GaryM said...

At first I thought the Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo, Calif. was for sale. I've stayed in rooms there that look like this!

Elise said...

Dear God, how many Muppets had to die?!?

Glory von Hathor said...

Oh, the fun that could be had with a bit of static and some balloon animals.

Anonymous said...

Formerly belonged to the Trumps ...

Anonymous said...

The best part is that if you read the listing it says that house comes "furnished". In that case of course I'll take it!

Anonymous said...

OMG! The kitchen . . It is Carol and Mike Brady's kitchen. Now we know what happened after the kids moved out.

Joy said...

That's what happens when the fabric store has a velour clearance sale!

Land of shimp said...

Some kinky recluse clearly lived there.

The words that came to mind when I saw this? Dust mites.

Lots and lots of them.

Anonymous said...

My three cats will love it!

Anonymous said...

you know, I was just in a foreclosure house a few days ago that had been vandalized by squatters and painted that same color inside....

dissimilitude said...

Hopefully this doesn't count as speculating about race or class, as I don't mean anything insulting by it:
It seems possible that the house was owned by and decorated to the taste of somebody from a country that has entirely different standards and tastes regarding home decorating than what's commonly accepted here.

Or am I overthinking this?

Charlene said...

It's what the owners of the Gobbler would have built for a retirement home if they'd won the lottery...

Noctourne Wonderland said...

It IS lovely! I WILL take it!

Anonymous said...

I went to Liberace's Palm Springs home many, many years ago for tea.
(More years ago than I care to admit!)

This definitely isn't the same house.

Anonymous said...

Someone likes their orange and pink a little too much for their own good.

Anonymous said...

This is by far the best listing you have found!!!!

Anonymous said...

Year Built: 1965
Year Updated: Never

Sarah said...

Oh.My.Gawd. That is just too much.

Emily said...

Uh, I know it's terrible, but I kind of love it. I mean, god bless 'em for having a vision and sticking to it, right?

Terri said...

Charlene, I was going to post that very same thing. It reminds me of the good old Gobbler. Nitro-grade nightmare fuel.

virginia said...

Best house ever! I would not touch a thing.

I probably couldn't eat in there though.

Saskplanner said...

I LOVE this house. It's actually near my winter condo. The next time i will have to go past and check it out... It's FABULOUS. It looks like the lair of an international diamond burglar from the 60s.

Anonymous said...

NONONONONONONO OH GOD NO

Anonymous said...

Shagadelic baby!

Decadent Housewife said...

I Dream of Jeannie - thanks, now I can't get the song out of my head.

Anonymous said...

Picture #9 at the listing should be preserved for all time.

Grumpy Housewife said...

Oh my Lord.

That? Is the very definition of tacky.

Wow. I'm overcome....with HORROR! Psychedelic, man, psychedelic!

Juliana said...

OKAY OKAY OKAY, I'M AWAKE ALREADY!!!

Man, 5:20 a.m. and I don't have to wait for the coffee to kick in after seeing THAT.......

knitorpurl said...

Wow! And I especially love how low key the exterior shot of the front of the house is- you have no idea what awaits you inside.

There might be four soft and fuzzy bedrooms, but I doubt anyone rests in that house with all the loud, screaming color.

Land of shimp said...

I think it would be an interesting house to walk through, and marvel at but then getting out of there would feel like a huge relief.

Besides the fact that all of that fabric contains a nearly criminal level of polyester (and back when polyester was the heavy-duty, space-shuttle-shielding kind) all that nearly forty year old fabric must smell mustier than anything I can possibly imagine.

Even if they kept it scrupulously clean in there, and diligently vacuumed the walls along with every other surface? That place likely smells like the back of your Nana's closet in August. Ugh.

jackie31337 said...

dissimilitude said It seems possible that the house was owned by and decorated to the taste of somebody from a country that has entirely different standards and tastes regarding home decorating than what's commonly accepted here.

Of course, how could we have missed it? This is obviously the home of an Australian or New Zealander immigrant family.

Anonymous said...

i truly love this house. except, what do you think it smells like inside? hmmm.....

Tim said...

Oooo it is a bit overdone. It reminds me of photos I saw a while back of the burj al arab hotel's interior (the big yacht-shaped place), which is worth hunting down on google images.

D~ said...

Hate to say it, but the only somewhat normal looking room is the kitchen and it dates back into the 70s. Never knew yellow countertops and bamboo shades looked so good.

bruce said...

jackie31337 said "This is obviously the home of an Australian or New Zealander immigrant family."

No way would it be a Kiwi! We have way too much taste for that. But possibly Australian; I'd guess a family from Perth.

The outside looks very Brady to me. I'd buy the place based on the exterior alone... but have to gut the interior before it drove me deaf!

Anonymous said...

This makes me feel so ... velour challenged.
Roidy

Angel said...

Anonymous: I'm guessing it smells like dust. Lots and lots and lots of dust....

Charlene said...

For $796,000 for a house that size I'd take the dust and the velour, as long as it was structurally sound.

There's something wrong with that house, right? That size and $796,000...in good shape that house should be about 2.6 million, right?

jendajen said...

There is something about this house that I absolutely adore.

I think it's that when I was very little and watching I Dream of Jeannie on tv, I kind of assumed that as an adult I'd be surrounded by plush velvet surfaces all the time and sashaying around in opulent clothing, drinking a nice cocktail and smoking a long cigarette with a holder. That was pretty detailed, wasn't it? Whooo.

An aside, we totally had some of those gold leaf mirrors up in my living room when I was a kid. Can you imagine cooking at the stove with a mirrored wall in front of you though? Creepy!

Anonymous said...

Can't. Stop. LAUGHING!!

Jane said...

Jendajen, you hit the nail on the head: it's I Dream of Jeannie's bottle, come to life in a whole house.

And I love it, too!

jenjen said...

The Redfin listing for this house has more description, including the word "unspoiled..." which I would not use for this. In fact, this house is very VERY spoiled! But they do at least suggest some uses: "Perfect for photo shoots, theme parties, fund-raisers and film locations to mention a few potential uses."

http://www.redfin.com/CA/Palm-Springs/1240-S-Manzanita-Ave-92264/home/5695109

Kathryn said...

That poor kitchen. It looks like a nerd at a swingers' party.

Also, I note that the listing claims that the house features "wall to wall carpeting." THE HELL YOU SAY.

Emma said...

Charlene -- what you save in the price of the house you make up for in paying the HAZMAT disposal fees to get all the furnishings out of there!

Teri said...

It's Brothel Madame Barbie's Dream House!

Anonymous said...

I bid :pink to corner of mouth: one MILLION DOLLARS!

kookaburra1701 said...

Ha ha, wow, if that thing ever catches on fire nobody is getting out alive.

jbeebs said...

I love this house. I want it!

Beth Saxton said...

Is this one of Hildi's houses from Trading Spaces?

Olivia said...

Used to live riiiight around there. It comes furnished. I would buy it. Oh man.

catluver43 said...

I Hate pink! I won't even live in a house that is painted pink on the outside. I think I am going to barf. Seriously, I probably would stay sick and die if I had to spend more then 5 minutes in that house. I'd run through a house tour then come home to a stiff drink to recover.

Anonymous said...

The 70s threw up?

Biff said...

I would totally buy it. But the pool and the kitchen are way too boring and dull, not an inch of velvet near either.

mrswinter2000 said...

Finally! I always wondered what the REST of Genie's bottle looked like! Now I know.

sue said...

It's Elvis's house.

Anonymous said...

Omigod! It's Satan's party pad! My favorite room is the fuschia velour and satin boudoir/dressing table--perfect for Mrs. Lucifer to prepare for those special occasions in Hell....

I am *totally* addicted to this site: I envision quitting my job and spending my twilight years searching the real-estate listings in search of the true pinnacle of weirdness.